


IF THIS IS LOVE, THEN WHY DOES IT HURT SO BAD?

by Sickpuppyinexile



Category: Hurts (UK Band), Last Shadow Puppets
Genre: Adam is stubborn af, Alcohol, Alex and Miles are two sweet cutie pies, Irrational Fears, Jealousy, M/M, Misunderstandings, Theo is heartbroken, milex is real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-28
Updated: 2017-08-24
Packaged: 2018-12-02 03:34:33
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 32,593
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11500929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sickpuppyinexile/pseuds/Sickpuppyinexile
Summary: Glastonbury 2016: Adam and Theo have a harsh argument three days before the festival and this time things seem rather complicated. A couple of friends who are performing at the same festival, Alex and Miles, will try their best to help the two fucked up men.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [MissVengeance](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MissVengeance/gifts).



> I wanna thank my dear friend for pushing me to write this, helping me with late night brainstorming and waiting patiently for me to finish it.  
> I have already written the whole story so updates will be quick; I just need some time to check my shaky English ;-))  
> I hope you enjoy this new story and you'll be happy to know that this time I didn't mix up the couples hahahahaha

**3 DAYS TO GLASTONBURY**

“So, guys, I was almost forgetting it! You’re going to Glastonbury, aren’t you?” the interviewer asked at some point in a very high-pitched voice, as she suddenly remembered that the band was going to play at the festival in few days and she hadn’t talked about it yet. 

“Yes, we’re going to Glastonbury again!” Theo said enthusiastically, turning his head toward Adam who was sitting on a chair next to him. Theo had his arm laying on the backrest of Adam’s chair since they had arrived twenty minutes before and the singer’s hand had brushed gently Adam’s arm a couple of times while answering the journalist’s questions.

“Everything is ready for Saturday?”

The interviewer was not addressing specifically to Theo but Adam didn’t seem in the mood to get involved in the conversation and this wasn’t something unusual for the singer. Adam didn’t like interviews a lot and always let Theo doing most of the job. The singer was undoubtedly less introvert and more talkative than Adam and he never failed in finding the perfect answer for the most disparate and awkward questions, enjoying himself enormously when interviews were a bit weird and not the usual boring ones. Theo looked briefly at his side and besides noticing how beautiful his boyfriend was, he noticed also that Adam was probably still thinking about some things to fix before the upcoming gig and, consequently, he decided to leave him in his world and answer the question.

“We are absolutely ready and, honestly, we can’t wait for Saturday coming because it’s been a while since the last time we’ve played there. It was 2013 and we both remember that it had been absolutely amazing,” Theo went on while Adam was sitting there next to him without saying a word or giving a nod, too busy thinking at something that Theo could not even imagine.

“I’ve heard that you have some kind of surprise for the fans, is it true?”

As there was time only for one more question, the interviewer this time decided to address directly to Adam but Theo had noticed how the guitarist was still lost in his thoughts and was now nervously fidgeting on the chair, clearly annoyed by something and so he hurried to answer once again. 

“Yes, we have a very nice surprise. It’s something never happened during the tour so everybody must come to Glastonbury and see us!” Theo said raising his eyebrows and flashing her his mischievous smile, trying his best to distract the interviewer from asking why Adam had been silent all the time. 

“So Hurts’ fan, get your rubber boots ready for the Other Stage next Saturday at 2:45 pm. Thanks Adam, thanks Theo and enjoy Glastonbury!

 

After some photos and autographs with some fans who had won a contest, the two men jumped on a taxi heading home. Adam was sitting silently next to Theo and the singer couldn’t help but notice how the guitarist still looked pensive and how he was clearly not listening to him while he was talking about his Glastonbury’s outfit. 

“Adam? What’s up?” Theo asked, placing his hand on Adam’s knee and shaking it, trying to take the guitarist back to planet earth.

“Nothing.”

“I know what your _nothing_ means.”

“It’s not the case to talk here,” Adam replied in a low tone of voice, not wanting the driver listening to them talking about private things.

Theo frowned and did not reply but kept his hand on Adam’s knee. He knew that it was useless to keep his hand there, waiting for Adam’s one so he could interlace their fingers, but no one was a hopeless optimist like Theo and so, he kept the hand there, until Adam moved his leg getting rid of it. Theo looked at Adam dumbfounded but he couldn’t read in his eyes what the hell was going through his mind because the guitarist was now looking absently outside the window. Theo wanted to say something but then, he decided to stay silent and wait to arrive home, hoping that Adam would have finally talked to him; it was evident that the man was annoyed for something happened in the past hour even if he couldn’t understand which irritating event had happened to his boyfriend without him noticing it.

Five minutes later, they were in front of the building where they lived together since four years. Adam headed toward the stairs as usual and Theo decided not to wait for the elevator, following him with less enthusiasm, getting ready to have an argument with him as soon as they were inside their apartment. The singer was never the one ready to argue because he really hated arguments but he hated even more leaving things unspoken, especially between them so he was ready to force Adam to spit out the truth and have a quarrel if necessary.

“Can you please tell me what’s wrong, Adam?” Theo asked in a calm tone while taking off his jacket and shoes. Adam was already halfway to the bedroom and Theo rolled his eyes upward as he followed him. As much as he loved Adam, it was hard to bear his sudden changes of mood without a real good reason as it was happening now.

“Don’t play dumb with me, Theo” Adam said extremely irritated.

“What are you talking about?”

“Was it necessary to hug me the whole time during the interview?”

Theo frowned and looked at Adam pretty perplexed, almost not believing the words that were coming out from the man’s mouth.

“I wasn’t hugging you. I just rested my arm on the backrest of your chair, Adam.”

“Well you should have kept your hands on you lap. Why the hell did you caress me in front of her, Theo?”

“My hand just touched your arm a couple of times; _I did not_ caress you! What the hell, Adam? What’s wrong with you today?” Theo asked staring at Adam in bewilderment. He was really having a problem understanding what was going on because Adam’s words and his harsh tone seemed not to have sense to him.

“She knows now; are you happy? Tomorrow you can read on the radio website what a nice couple we are…because this is what you wanted, am I right?” Adam said as he disappeared in the bathroom, never looking at Theo while he was spitting out the words in a harsh manner.

“Adam, look at me. Tell me you are joking or that you have temporarily lost your mind because I can’t believe what you are saying to me.”

“You’re dying to let people know about us even if I am not ready yet and you’ve found a subtle way to make the situation clear.”

That was the breaking point. Theo suddenly felt like punching Adam right in the face to shut him up because this time he had tried his patience a little too much but the singer knew that it would be useless and that the gesture would make him feel worse within few seconds. Theo also tried his best to hold back the words that were lingering in his mouth as he wanted to avoid being rude but, as Adam was going on talking nonsense, at some point, he let them go.

“Fuck off Adam. It’s four years I put up with this shit. I’m really fed up. I didn’t do anything that could compromise this damn fucking secret! And I am not dying to let people know about us, I just want you behave like normal people do instead of feeling terrified or ashamed or whatever fucking thing you feel because you love me,” Theo burst out angrily. He had tried to keep himself calm but Adam had exaggerated this time and he was not willing to shut up. “You’re paranoid Adam, do you realize it?” Theo went on, shouting the words right into Adam’s face as soon as the guitarist was back in the bedroom.

“I am not paranoid; I just want to keep our private life private,” Adam said quietly this time, being a bit more meek as he noticed how Theo was pissed off. Maybe he had been too harsh and probably had said things he really didn’t want to say but, unfortunately for him, it was too late now to take them back or say them in another tone and Theo didn’t look as he was ready to forget his words easily this time.

“No, Adam. _You-are-a-fucking-paranoid_ ,” Theo repeated pointing his finger to the guitarist and articulating the words to make himself clear, having no intention to stop speaking anytime soon. “During the whole tour you stopped to come close to me when we performed Evelyn because you think people know that we are a couple and I am sure that you are also scared that I can accidentally kiss you or touch your butt as if I were a complete idiot. Don’t you understand how wrong everything is? For me, for us, for our fans! They love that song and we've always performed it in every tour since the very beginning because it has a meaning for us and because we know that our fans are always waiting for it!”

Adam was silent; Theo’s words were like a knife in his belly and he knew that the singer was right. He loved to play that song; he loved the moment he left the piano to take his guitar looking proudly at the screaming crowd before starting playing his favourite instrument with all his heart and soul. He loved approaching Theo during that very emotional moment and give him his support but lately, he was terrified to perform Evelyn as usual. He wanted to go next to Theo but at the very last moment, his body refused to do it, always finding himself walking toward Paul instead, giving his shoulder to the singer almost the whole time.

“Not to mention about the fact that when we are on that fucking bus, you always look uncomfortable when I hug you or give you a peck on your cheek even if our bandmates are our friends and are happy for us and fuck, Adam, you act in the same way also when nobody is looking at us on that damn bus! Don’t you ever think how you make me feel? Every time it looks like you’re ashamed by my behaviour and I always feel like if you are rejecting me and deny our relationship,” Theo went on almost on the verge of crying given the anger and the sadness he was feeling. The singer didn’t seem ready to stop vomiting the bitter words anytime soon and Adam began to feel sick. Looking at Theo’s red face and hearing his voice spitting out those words aloud was breaking his heart. He loved Theo, he really loved him and instead of making him happy, he was making him feeling bad. Adam was about to apologize for the harsh tone and the words used before but he didn’t have the time to do it because Theo was relentless.

“And this obsession with the gym … do you wanna know what I think? I think you go to that damn gym every day because you think that with more muscles, you look more macho and you can get more attention from our female fans so they do not have weird thoughts about you. And probably it’s better we do not even talk about your parents, Adam. You never had the courage to tell them directly about us; they just understood it at some point, when your brother for mistake mentioned that I moved to your apartment and I still can’t believe you let him explain things while you were on a train back to London,” Theo told him even more furiously, staring directly into his eyes. He stood like that for a second, breathing heavily, his eyes brimming with tears and all he could see was Adam’s emotionless face. The guitarist’s face was a blank and Theo couldn’t believe how Adam could stand in front of him like that. 

Actually, Adam was standing there almost in shock; he knew Theo since eleven years and he had never seen Theo being so furious with him. The guitarist was going through such a thousands of emotions that his brain didn’t know what to show and, consequently, he just stood there, petrified, unable to speak or move, with a blank expression on his face. Theo, unfortunately, misinterpreted Adam’s blank face and all he could see in front of him was someone who didn’t care about him and his feelings. Theo forced himself not to cry in front of Adam even if he felt his heart aching in his chest and the tears ready to flow out of his eyes as never happened before. The singer sniffed and with a big effort, he managed not to let a rebellious tear falling down on his cheek before he turned on his heels and walked toward the sitting room. He put the shoes back on his feet, took his jacket and went out, slamming the door behind him. Theo rushed down the stairs feeling upset in a way he had never imagined it was possible - _and my heart is aching everytime I see the ring I bought for you dangling from your necklace but obviously, you don't give a fuck about how I feel, do you? You're such a dickhead, Adam_ \- Theo murmured in a trembling voice before wearing the sunglasses and stepping outside the main door of the building. 

 

Usually, walking around the city was something that made Theo reflect and calm down rather quickly but, this time, it didn’t seem that it was working. He replayed the scene in his mind repeatedly and every time he heard Adam’s words, he just got even more angry than he already was. He was tired of constantly pleasing Adam and let him control their life. The man was able to switch from the sweetest boyfriend when they were at home into the coolest iceberg when they were outside and all Theo wanted for them was just something in the middle when they were among people they knew. It didn’t seem too much to ask after all those years together. 

Theo found himself at his brother’s place and Jak had immediately noticed how Theo was extremely pissed off as soon as he opened the door and greeted him. Theo greeted him back forcing a smile and then, he walked directly into the living room searching for something to drink. Jak rolled his eyes upwards and sighed silently as it was obvious that the glass of alcohol in his hand would be only the first of a long series. 

“Theo? What’s happened?”

“I had an argument with Adam; a harsh one. Anyway, I didn’t come here to talk about it or to ask for advice or things like that,” he said, downing the glass and refilling it immediately. “I just want to have some fun and get drunk until the angriness disappear, possibly without getting injured or accidentally killing myself in the process,” Theo went on before replaying the previous gesture. Jak sighed again and he wanted to say something but he knew that it would be useless so he walked toward his bedroom, got dressed and brought his brother out. 

Theo refused to stop to any of his favourite restaurants to have dinner as his main interest for the evening was getting completely drunk; Jak had tried his best to keep his brother under control as they wandered from a pub to another but he soon realized he wouldn’t be able to avoid Theo drinking himself into oblivion.


	2. Chapter 2

**2 DAYS TO GLASTONBURY**

The morning after, Adam slowly woke up as the light began to illuminate the bedroom, and when he finally opened his eyes, he noticed that he still had his clothes on and the sheets were untouched. Adam remembered that he had sat on the bed with his pc to work on a tune while waiting for Theo to come back home, presumably in the middle of the night and probably a bit drunk. It was evident now that he had fallen asleep at some point, but Theo had not woke him up stumbling around the house as usual. Adam didn't want to think about the fact that the man had decided not to come back home and, consequently, he assumed that Theo was probably still angry with him and had simply preferred to sleep in the spare room, managing to get inside the house rather silently and sober. Adam got up and walked toward the kitchen to put the kettle on but while walking through the living room, he couldn’t help but notice that there were no signs that Theo was at home. He took few hesitant steps toward the spare room and opened it slightly, still hoping to find Theo face down on the mattress and full dressed but, as suspected, the room was empty. – _Fuck, Theo!_ \- Adam said a bit bothered by the fact the singer had not come back. The man had left the apartment extremely pissed off and hurt, slamming the door behind himself but Theo had always come back home after a quarrel. Probably the idiot had ended up to a metal gig with his brother, then they had wandered around pubs with some friends and now they were both dead drunk on someone’s couch. 

Adam got a bit angry at the image of Theo totally wasted somewhere in the city but then, he told himself to calm down. Maybe he had just slept on his brother’s couch without being dead drunk and he was catastrophizing things as always. They had a gig to perform at Glastonbury in two days and even if it was not like performing into a venue full of adoring fans, Theo knew how important it was to perform also in front of hundreds of people who were standing in the mud, in a rainy afternoon, having no idea about who the fuck Hurts were.

Adam went to pick up his phone and checked if there were messages from Theo but he sadly noticed that the man had completely ignored him. He cursed toward the singer because he realized that it was useless to hope that he wasn't drunk as suspected few minutes before, but what was done was done and he decided to have breakfast and face the problem later because it was useless trying to contact Theo or his brother now; it was too early for two drunken idiots to pick up their phones.

*

Jak rolled on his side as a ray of sunshine hit him directly on his eyelids, disturbing his sleep. Unfortunately, he couldn’t roll his body enough to put his face away form he light that was illuminating that side of the room because there was no space to move. He shaded his eyes with the palm of his hand before opening them and it took him some seconds to realize he was on the couch and someone was slightly snoring on the floor few inches from him. – _Fuck!_ \- Jak mumbled, and the moment he lifted himself up, his head hurt like hell – _Fuck you, Theo!_ \- he mumbled again and then, he fell down on the opposite side of the couch. He closed his eyes and given the fact that the ray of sun was not bothering him as before, he fell asleep again, waking up some hours later when his phone and Theo’s one began to ring alternately. Jak reached for his phone and when he noticed that Adam was calling, he sighed deeply. He didn’t want to talk to Adam about Theo. He didn’t want to listen to Adam after the night spent listening to Theo. Because his brother had not wanted to talk to him and ask him advice when he was sober but as soon as he began to get drunk, he hadn’t stopped to talk about Adam and ask him what he had to do. – _How many times did you see us kissing, Jak? And I mean an innocent kiss not a make out session! Do you think it’s too much to ask my boyfriend do not act like if he is ashamed being with me outside our house? And do you think I am wrong when I think that a ring should stay on a finger and not on a damn necklace? Do you think I should leave him and find someone else who is not afraid to hug me and say I am his boyfriend? Maybe I should go back dating girls; it’s much more easy_ -. Jak had listened to Theo complaining about Adam-the-cold-heart for two full hours and when he was definitely drunk, he had begun to babble about the fact that he couldn't live without Adam-the-adorable-cutie-pie. Thank God at some point, after they had arrived home, Theo had fallen asleep. Jak was so happy that the torture was finished that had decided to leave Theo on the floor after he had rolled off the couch, being too much afraid that his brother could awake and resume the talking. As much as he loved his brother and Adam, he hated being involved in their heart's problems and this looked like a very tricky one. Jak checked Theo while he waited for Adam to close the call, taking time to decide what to write him. His older brother didn’t seem ready to wake up anytime soon so Jak took Theo’s phone and sent a message to Adam hoping that it was enough to calm him down or at least make him feel reassured that Theo was safe.

 _From Theo_ : Hi Adam, I’m Jak. Theo is at my place. I thought he had told you that he would have slept here. Anyway, he’s in the shower now but, don’t worry, I am gonna bring him back home tonight. See you later.

Adam read the message and sighed. He appreciated Jak’s attempt to keep him calm but he knew for sure that Theo had drunk a lot and was hangover, and Jak was just waiting for his brother to feel better before bringing him back at home in a decent state, avoiding any other further argument. At least Adam was happy to know that they were together and that he hadn’t sleep in someone else’s bed. Or maybe Theo had just forgot his phone at a club and Jak had no idea where Theo was. Adam tried to keep calm and he did it for a full minute but, unfortunately, he was sure he couldn’t do all day long so he took his phone and texted to Jak.

 _From Adam_ : I know you do not want to get involved in this but please, tell me that Theo is really with you, not just his phone. Thx.

Jak shook his head and decided that Adam was already on the verge of a panic attack so with a big effort, he lifted Theo off the floor and put him on the couch which was few steps away from them. He took off his brother’s shoes and lay him down properly before taking a picture and send it to Adam. 

_From Jak_ : here is Prince Charming still asleep. Sorry if I told you he was in the shower but I didn’t think it was a good idea to wake him up to speak with you. Anyway, I am gonna do my best to put him in a good mood and bring him back home.

 _From Adam_ : Thanks.

Adam took a deep breath of relief. Theo looked dead asleep and that because he had drunk a lot the night before and a tiny smile appeared on his face. The guitarist couldn’t remember being so happy for Theo getting drunk and the reason was that in such conditions, he had not slept with anyone else. Adam realized that this time he had been lucky and he couldn’t help but stare at the picture on the screen, hoping to hold Theo in his arms soon. He decided that it was better to let bygones be bygones and forget everything had happened yesterday, the harsh argument, an angry Theo leaving their house and getting drunk with his brother. He had already admitted to himself that maybe he had overreacted and had been too harsh accusing Theo, but he kept thinking that the singer had behaved like an idiot not coming back home and drinking himself into oblivion. In any case, there were no good reasons to go on being angry at each other, especially before such an important festival, and he hoped that Theo would show up during the day, ready to reconcile with him and going back to some kind of normality. 

Adam walked to the studio and spent the rest of the day playing piano, waiting for Theo to come back. It was already evening when his stomach rumbled and he realized that it was pretty late. Theo hadn’t show up yet and Adam decided to prepare something to eat in the attempt to feed his complaining stomach and distract himself from checking the clock every minute and wonder why Theo was still not at home. 

After dinner, he decided to keep himself busy watching a movie while waiting for Theo; he fell asleep at some point and he woke up around eleven p.m. when the phone he was holding in his hands buzzed. 

_From Jak_ : we’re going to a pub to see a friend of mine playing and Theo is gonna stay at my place also tonight. He needs to let himself go a bit but don’t worry, I am gonna take care of him. I know you’re worried but everything is under control ;-)

Adam sighed. It seemed that Theo suddenly needed to feel young, wild and free like his younger brother and forget any responsibility for a while, and even if Adam could understand it somehow, he was sure that it was not the right moment to do it as there was a festival to attend in less than two days. Adam was relieved that Theo was wandering around with his brother and not with some of his friends that didn’t know about their relationship because, at least, he knew that young Hutchcraft wouldn't encourage Theo to sleep with someone. But could he prevent his brother to do it? Probably not. Adam didn’t feel safe also for other things that could happen on a wild night out together; Jak, for example, wasn’t the most reliable person when it came to keep Theo away from pub’s brawls as he was usually happy to join his brother. Adam sighed again and buried his face in his hands. The only thing he hoped at this point, was that Jak would be able to keep an eye on Theo enough to avoid him sleeping with someone; after all Theo had already performed with a black eye and an almost broken rib without people even noticing it and, eventually, he could do it also at Glastonbury. Adam turned the TV off and sat in the dark staring at the wall in front of him, ready for a sleepless night. He began to think if something had already changed in there relationship because he hadn’t expected Theo staying away from him for two days. Theo was usually the one who forgot arguments very easily and hurried to solve things but now it seemed he had no intention to face the situation. Adam’s mind suddenly began to wander and he imagined how life would be without Theo. He knew that they would never stop to make music together, he knew this for sure, but he had to admit that it was hard to think about a change in their friendship and it was even harder to think about living in his apartment alone. The house had been too much silent in the past two days; even if he often complained about Theo being noisy, listening to Eminem loudly or speaking relentlessly for hours when all he wanted was to read a book in silence, he missed having him around. It was sad not to have Theo to hug as he crawled into bed. There was no one to share breakfast with, no one who was ready to listen to him composing new music at the piano in the middle of the night, no one who whispered him good morning, no one who looked at him like Theo did. Theo’s Bambi eyes were able to warm him, making him feel alive, loved and appreciated like no one else had ever been able to do. Adam closed his eyes and as soon as he did it, the only thing he could see was the hurt and the anger in the singer’s eyes and he couldn’t help but imaging Theo finding someone to spend the night with because he felt that Theo was angry enough to let himself go with someone just to hurt him. The singer had always been faithful during the past four years, Adam was absolutely sure about it but now… he could see him surrounded by dozens of predators, finally happy to meet him alone, ready to take advantage of his altered state of mind. Adam had always been pissed off by people paying too much attention to Theo; he always felt uncomfortable and got a bad mood when men and women tried their best to get his phone number for a one night stand or, even worse, offered themselves shamelessly in the restrooms of the nightclub where they were having fun after the gigs. Usually when the situation became too much intolerable, Adam forced Theo to leave, even if Theo knew how to handle things quite well, enjoying being admired and desired like that. The singer, on the contrary, always felt proud and visibly turned on looking at Adam being eyefucked or haunted down by strangers during those after-gig parties and usually, he wanted to go back to the hotel immediately for a different reason, fucking his boyfriend or being fucked by him.

– _If something happens tonight, it’s only your fault, Adam_ \- he said to himself, completely disheartened, remembering what usually happened to Theo during the nights out, especially since their band became famous. Adam began to feel like if he had already lost the privileged place in Theo’s heart and he felt terribly sad about the fact that someone else was ready to fill that place, even if only for one night. Adam felt his eyes brimming with tears but he tried his best to calm down and not to think about Theo cheating on him with a man or a woman or both; if the singer got so mad at him, it was because he cared for him and loved him. Going on repeating these words, when it was almost three in the morning, Adam fell asleep.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam is loosing is mind while he's at home alone; Theo is physically in pain and still mad at Adam and Jak is skeptical about the fact he can bring his brother at home.

**1 DAY TO GLASTONBURY**

Adam suddenly woke up at the crack of dawns. His cheeks were wet for the tears he had cried and his body was covered in a cold sweat. It took him some minutes to realize that he just had a nightmare, but he could still feel his heart pounding in his chest even now that he was sure that nothing had happened for real. In that awful dream, Matt was telling him that Theo didn’t want him on the stage at Glastonbury and that he had to accept the situation for the good of the band. Matt was trying to explain that he didn’t prefer Theo to him, but, unfortunately, Hurts could perform without a guitarist/pianist while they couldn’t do it without a singer. Adam remembered he had given some advice to Pete and Lael about the parts they had to remember to play and that Paul had hugged him in tears, saying that it wasn’t fair what Theo was doing. Even now while he was awake, Adam could still see Matt in front of him saying that Theo’s request were ridiculous, stupid and insane but that he had to accept Theo’s demands because it was not possible to cancel their performance. Adam shook his head as to push away the bad memories and then, he wiped his misty-eyes; he took a deep breath and when he calmed down, he got up and walked toward bedroom. He looked at the empty bed and asked himself if he would be able to sleep with Theo in his arms again, if he could kiss him goodnight as they slid under the sheets, if he would be able to wake up with an angelic voice murmuring him good morning and a pair of soft lips kissing gently his cheek. Adam wanted to fall on the bed and cry until he fell asleep, but it would be heartbreaking waking up and see again the empty spot next to him like the previous morning. He took off his sweaty t-shirt and opened Theo’s drawer to pick up a fresh a one that belonged to him and then, he went back to the couch. 

He stayed awake for a while watching absently a random TV program before falling asleep again and when he woke up, it was almost noon. He checked the phone and cursed when he realized that there were no messages from Theo or Jak, the two men probably still asleep after the night out. As much as he was angry with Theo behaving like an idiot, he was worried for him. Theo was still his boyfriend and the love of his life and not knowing where he was and what he was doing, was driving him mad. He dragged himself toward the kitchen to prepare something for breakfast and he couldn’t help but feeling sad at the idea to sit at the table and eating alone again. He hated when Theo was in the USA to work on his side projects and he had to stay at home alone for two or three weeks but, at least, he knew when Theo would be back and he knew what he was doing almost each moment of the day. Now he didn’t know what it was going through the singer’s head and he felt powerless. Even when they were just friends, they couldn’t stay without messaging each other every day and now Adam felt like they had lost their connection. It wasn’t the first time they had an argument, obviously, but it was the first time that Theo had left and hadn’t come back home. It was the first time that Theo hadn’t try to solve things as quick as possible. It was the first time that he had felt as if Theo hated him. They had to play at Glastonbury tomorrow and his friend, lover and bandmate was not with him. Theo should have been at home now, having breakfast with him, telling him that he was excited to perform at his favourite festival, asking him if the suit he wanted to wear was perfect on him. He should have been here and calm him down, telling him that he was going to play his parts impeccably, telling him that they would be absolutely amazing and that they would win the heart of all the people that didn’t know their band yet. – _Where are you, Theo?_ \- Adam managed to finish the eggs in his plate but he couldn’t eat anything else and each passing second, he felt terrified that Theo wouldn’t want him in his life anymore. 

 

Adam spent the rest of the morning preparing his suitcase and the other stuff he needed to bring with him. His heart melted as he opened his hand luggage to fill it with his most important stuff and found Theo’s note – _I love you, Anderson_ \- with a sketch of him wearing glasses and suspender, a combination that Theo loved a lot because he was wearing both the day Theo had told him that he was in hopelessly in love. The memory brought a smile on Adam’s face and he felt reassured about Theo’s feelings for him because the singer had made that sketch two weeks before, when they were at Zurich’s airport waiting to catch a flight back to London after attending a TV show. - _Things cannot change so dramatically in two weeks, right?_ \- 

Adam went on gathering his clothes and other stuff for himself and then he decided to check what was missing in Theo’s half-done suitcase. He had constantly kept an eye on his phone but, unfortunately, Theo hadn’t called or written anything. Adam tried his best do not get anxious but now, he was on the edge of having a mental break down, and the worst thoughts kept popping up in his mind as he remembered the nightmare. What if Theo didn’t want to talk to him and settle things before the gig? What if he had decided to break their relationship? Maybe he had already decided to move into his old apartment with his brother. 

Adam’s negative thoughts were suddenly interrupted by his phone ringing. He felt his heart thumping in his chest and he hurried to pick up the phone, feeling deeply disappointed when he saw Paul’s number. He didn’t feel like talking to him, feeling terrified that he could suspect that something was wrong and so, he let the phone ring until it stopped. It was stupid, he knew it, because Paul would ring him again if he had something to ask about tomorrow’s gig, but Adam didn’t feel like talking with him right now. He just hoped that Theo would show up soon and talk with him, reassuring him that everything was okay and that tomorrow, on the bus, they guys wouldn’t notice that they had a serious argument the previous days. 

*

It was early afternoon when Theo finally woke up. He was hungover and felt really bad. As soon as he tried to lift himself from the mattress, waves of nausea hit him forcefully, adding pain to his misery. At least his brother had managed to put him in bed this time. He barely remembered what he had done the night before and he hoped that, at least, he had enjoyed it and that it was worth feeling so bad now. He curled under the sheets and he hoped to pass out again instead, his brother, came in the bedroom and snatched the bed cover away from him.

“You have to get up, Theo” Jak yelled, but Theo didn’t even try to open his eyes again and hid his head under the pillow.

“To make this pass quickly, you have to get up,” Jak repeated as he now snatched the pillow away from his brother’s hands. Theo kept laying there whining and cursing at his younger brother but Jak didn’t give up.

“You know it too, Theo; the best way to recover is getting on your feet so, get up!” Jak insisted and the singer sadly knew that his brother was right; it was useless staying in bed because it would make him feel worse and it would take more time to him to recover. With a big effort, Theo decided to open his eyes a bit and Jak offered him his hand to help him moving into a sitting position. Theo managed to lift his upper body up and put his feet on the floor but when he tried to get up on a standing position, everything around him began to spin. Jak immediately noticed Theo’s problem and hurried to hold him, preventing his clumsy brother to fall on the ground and get injured. He had managed to keep a drunken Theo away from troubles for two nights in a row and he couldn’t let him break an arm or an eyebrow while falling down in his bedroom. Jak forced his brother to sit back on the bed for a moment and felt a bit disheartened about the possibility that he could bring Theo home for dinnertime. 

“Open your eyes, Theo; take a deep breath,” Jak said; Theo decided to follow Jak’s expert advice and in few minutes, he finally felt ready to walk alone toward the bathroom.

Theo took a shower and hoped it would help to make himself looking and feeling alive more that he felt now. First, he put himself under the cold water in the attempt to wake up properly and then, he let the warm water running down over his body, hoping he could wash away the past two unreal days. He had drunk as it hadn’t happened in years and he was sadly realizing that it hadn’t help him to feel better as hoped. He still felt sad and, most of all, mad at Adam, and he could not imagine going back home and face him.

Theo got dressed and walked toward the kitchen where Jak welcomed him with a plate of greasy food. As soon as the smell of eggs, bacon and sausages hit his nostrils, Theo felt the nausea coming back and he was sure he was about to throw up while he was reaching the chair to sit down. He looked at his brother who was trying his best not to laugh and Theo gently sent him to fuck off as soon as he felt better.

“God, Theo. I think I’ve never seen you like that. You really look like shit,” Jak said even if Theo didn’t need his brother explain to him how he looked at the moment.

“At least I don’t smell anymore like that.”

“You’re gonna feel better, I promise you. Eat your food and take these pills and in few hours I bring you back home.”

Theo wanted to reply he didn’t want to see Adam but he felt sick again as he looked at Jak eating in front of him. He took deep breathes and as soon as he felt better, he forced his hand to pick up some of the food his brother had put in his plate. Unfortunately, he kept feeling sick; his mouth opened to let the food going inside but after holding the fork midair for some minutes, he gave up.

“I can’t go back home like that.”

Jak looked at his brother and couldn’t help but think he was right. Theo was feeling worse that he thought it was possible and Adam would have killed him. 

“Maybe we could go to Glastonbury this evening and say that we wanted to see some band playing or something like that. But I warn you, Theo, we’re gonna have a healthy dinner with no alcohol and we’re gonna stay in the hotel for the rest of the night watching movies. Okay?”

*

Two hours later, Adam was done with the suitcases and was looking at Theo' white suit. He looked stunning in it and it would be a nice surprise for their fans seeing him dressed like that instead than in the usual black and white combination. - _I look like I am going to get married_ \- Theo had said the first time he had put it on, and even if he'd said it as a joke, Adam knew that he was testing the waters. Adam remembered that he had felt happy at the idea but, all of a sudden, panic had hit him, making the smile on his face disappear and making Theo change the subject. Adam was asking himself why he was always so scared to be happy when he heard his phone buzzing, making his heart beating fast in his chest. He closed his eyes for a second before opening them and check the display and, once again, he felt sad when he saw that the message was from the chat group of their bandmates.

 _From Paul_ : R u ready guys?

Pete hurried to reply he was ready and so did Lael while Adam just looked at the answers appearing on the screen.

 _From Paul_ : who’s available for a drink before dinner?

Pete accepted while Lael was not sure to be back from his girlfriend in time and Adam didn’t know what to do, reply or ignore the question.

 _From Pete_ : Adam? Theo? 

Adam cursed. He didn’t know what to write and he was about to ignore the message again when, suddenly, he saw Theo’s one.

 _From Theo_ : sorry guys, I’m already on my way to Glastonbury. Do not drink too much and see you tomorrow.

The conversation suddenly stopped; the bandmates probably already freaking out on another chat about the fact that Theo was going alone on Glastonbury and that his boyfriend wasn't reply to calls and messages. Adam was still looking at Theo's words and he didn’t know if he had to feel happy to know that Theo was okay or if he had to get angry for the way he was behaving, like if he didn't exist. Adam was still debating how he was feeling when he got a call from Matt and he almost had a heart attack. – _It was just a nightmare, Adam. Calm the fuck down!_ \- 

“Hi Adam. How are you?” 

“Hi, Matt. I am okay, thanks.”

“I just finished speaking with Theo; he told me he is going to Glastonbury with his brother and well, I just wanted to know… are you okay? We can meet up and talk if you want,” Matt said even if he knew that Adam hated to talk about his relationship with Theo but maybe, this time, he needed someone to talk with. Even if he was just their manager, he had always cared for them besides the work stuff; he had been with them since the very beginning and had always felt protective toward them in a way that usually didn’t happen with any of the other people in his agency.

“Is he okay?” Adam decided to ask, feeling a bit stupid for the fact he had to ask news about his boyfriend to his manager.

“Yes, he is okay. He told me he had two rough nights but that he is okay now and he’s gonna stay quiet tonight, just enjoying Glastonbury’s atmosphere.”

“Okay,” Adam replied and that was all he was able to say. 

“Hey, Adam, are you sure you’re okay?”

“Yes, don’t worry. See you tomorrow,” Adam managed to say in a low voice and Matt understood that it was useless going on with the conversation so he closed the call, thanking God that Adam was not the singer of the band or the gig would be a complete disaster. Even if Matt had noticed how Theo was still hungover, sad and miserable, Matt knew that he was strong enough to forget everything the moment he was on the stage while he couldn’t say the same about Adam.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading <3  
> Get ready for Glastonbury's day and the mess that is gonna happen ;-))


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The day of the gig arrives and Adam and Theo finally meet.  
> Alex and Miles are performing the same day with their band -The last Shadow Puppets- and get involved into Adam and Theo's heart problems, trying their best to help....

**GLASTONBURY**

“Theo is already there; he arrived in Glastonbury yesterday night with his brother,” Matt said to the guys as they were waiting for Adam to arrive. 

“Yes, we know it; he told us yesterday that he was on his way to Glasto. What the hell has happened? Adam hadn’t pick up the phone or answered to any message for the whole day,” Paul said, trying his best not to look too much worried for the situation.

“They had an argument few days ago and Theo told me he didn’t feel like to stay on the bus with Adam because they didn’t solve it yet.”

“Is that so serious?” Pete asked a bit incredulous about the fact that the two men could have had such a bad argument.

“Theo left home three days ago but, anyway, I don’t think they broke up. I think they had just a stupid fight but this time Theo had not get over it as he usually does in order to prevent any kind of problems between them. He didn’t explain me a lot; he just told me that Adam brought him to the edge this time and so, he decided to spend some time with his brother in order to put himself in a good mood for Glasto.”

The guys were listening to the manager’s words almost not believing what was going on, and after knowing more details from Matt, they were feeling a bit concerned.

“I hope that Jak kept Theo away from alcohol yesterday night”, Paul said. “I mean, Theo can perform while hungover without people even noticing it but Adam… he’s gonna complain for his behaviour and I don’t want they have a fight before the gig.”

“Theo had enough alcohol in the past days so yesterday he promised to behave and go to sleep early so I am sure he is gonna be okay. Anyway, they’re going to speak after the gig and don’t worry guys, everything will end up fine,” Matt said with a reassuring smile even if he,himself, was a bit worried.

“Is there something we can do?”

“I don’t think so. Just do not leave them alone before the gig and get ready to support Adam during the performance because we all know how emotional he is. Thank God the singer is the stronger one.”

Matt got off the bus and left the guys having a talk together; they didn’t hide each other the fact they were more nervous after Matt’s words. They almost couldn’t believe that Theo had not gone home for three days, and even if that didn’t mean that Theo had left Adam, it was evident that something had broken in the singer’s heart. They all suspected what the problem was because Theo occasionally opened up with them about his relationship with Adam without the guitarist knowing it. Sometimes Theo needed to be reassured that he was not behaving wrongly with Adam and they were the only people who could give him advice, given the fact they were often together and they knew the truth about their relationship. Theo had a cheerful disposition, was a very optimistic person and a smile was ready to appear on his face any time of the day but there were moments when it was hard also for him to pretend that everything was okay when Adam behaved as if they were just friends. The bandmates had always done their best to make Adam feel at easy when they were together; they avoided any kind of joke about them, never paid too much attention to them when they were travelling on the bus and they always tried to left them alone as much as they could while on tour. Unfortunately, even after four years, Adam looked always uncomfortable when they were around. They didn’t know exactly what had happened three days ago but they knew for sure that this time Theo hadn’t found the strength to pretend that Adam’s behaviour was understandable or excusable.

Matt was checking the e-mails on his phone when he noticed Adam getting out of the taxi. He informed the guys who were still talking inside the bus and Paul went with him to help the guitarist with the suitcases and his guitars. Everybody noticed his tensed features and the lack of sleep when he got on the bus, but they didn’t give away any of their thoughts and,instead, they did their best to keep the atmosphere relaxed as always.

Adam felt relieved that nobody was asking him anything. Obviously, he knew that Matt had probably already explained them what had happened and they were smart enough do not bother him, acting as if nothing bad was going on. He realized he was definitely lucky to have such great friends as bandmates and forced himself to look relaxed and join them in the conversation, trying to pretend that it was another bus trip to a venue, silently hoping that Theo would be next to him on the trip back home. 

 

Theo was walking around the gig area waiting for the bus to arrive. He had been awake most of the night and he was a bit cranky. As much as he was angry with Adam, he missed him, and given the fact he had followed Jak’s advice and stayed sober, he hadn’t managed to sleep too much during the night. He hated sleeping alone and the fact that Jak had snored next to him all night long, hadn’t helped him to relax and fall asleep.  
Theo texted Matt to know where they were and given they still need thirty minutes before arriving, he decided to drink a cup of tea and put himself in the right state of mind to see Adam. He felt pretty concerned about how to face his friend-lover-bandmate, and this was an awkward feeling, something that he had never felt before. Theo wanted Adam to make the first step and give him a sign that he had missed him and that he wasn’t ashamed about their relationship; it would be a dream to see Adam jumping off the bus even before it had stopped properly and run toward him hugging him tightly. Theo didn’t want apologizes, he didn’t want a passionate kiss on lips; he just needed a hug and have a proof that he was still the most important thing in Adam’s world. Theo closed his eyes and shook his head. – _Stop dreaming such stupid things; it’s gonna make you feel even more worse_ \- Theo said to himself before taking another sip of tea form his cup. Unfortunately Theo went on with dozens of variations of Adam jumping off the bus running impatiently toward him, cursing every time for not being able to stop hurting himself daydreaming like that. For this reason, his mood hadn’t improve when the bus finally arrived and Theo got ready to be disappointed once again.

 

Adam was the last one to get off the bus and Theo was not surprised of it. – _Coward_ \- the singer thought immediately but then, he gave him another glance while he was walking in his direction and he couldn’t help but feel his heart beating fast for the man he still loved, feeling frustrated for the fact that it was sure that Adam had still not understood how hurt he was. The singer did his best to force a smile and greet properly the nervous bandmates and everybody knew that Theo was wearing a fake smile just to keep them calm. Then Theo looked at Adam straight in the face as he thanked him for bringing him his suit and the suitcase and Adam looked at him back briefly before handing him all his belongings. Even if there was no sun shining and the sky was so clouded that rain was expected to keep them company all day long, both Adam and Theo were wearing sunglasses. It was pretty obvious that they had chosen to wear them for a different reason than a blinding sun; they were both pale and looked pretty fucked up and behind the sunglasses, both men hid black circles under their eyes together with a deep sadness. Their bandmates did their best not to look at them as the two men exchanged few words but Paul, Pete and Lael couldn’t avoid to do it at all, feeling relieved as soon as they saw that Theo hugging Adam briefly, making Adam’s features relax a bit.

*

“They are playing at The Other stage at 14:45,” Alex said looking around the bus for his rubber boots.

“Why can’t we watch them here; they are going to stream their gig,” Miles replied, not liking the idea of leaving the cozy bus to stay in the mud to see those Hurts guys playing. Not that he didn’t like them or their music but they also had a gig to perform in the evening and Miles just wanted to relax until it was their moment to step on stage.

“It’s not as funny as being out there!”

“Yes, Alex, because it’s funny being in the mud, isn’t it? Fuck, baby, I am not a five years old!” Miles said as he was laying sprawled comfortably on the couch with a beer in his hand. He was wearing his _comfy_ sweatpants and had found a _comfy_ position, and he didn’t feel like going out of the bus until it was time to perform in the evening.

“Pleeeeeease,” Alex said sitting on Miles’ lap, showing him his best puppy eyes.

“Do you have a crush on that Hutchsomething?” Miles asked with a frown, as he couldn’t understand how Alex was so eager to see the band playing given the fact that they had to stay in the mud, among a crowd who would undoubtedly recognized him, and probably under the ever-present rain.

“Are you jealous?” Alex asked approaching Miles’ face with his finger and touching his nose with a mischievous smile.

“I don’t think I should. Even if you fancy him, you’re not his type.”

“How can you say that?”

“Because it’s obvious that _I am_ his type, Turner! Don’t you remember in 2013 when I played in London with my band?” Miles said with a smirk, and his hand caught Alex’s chin, bringing his mouth close and kissing him.

“I don’t want to hear that story again, Miles. He wasn’t eyefucking you. He was just watching you singing.” 

“I felt his eyes on me the whole time, Alex.” 

“Everyone has their eyes on you when you are on stage, Miles. You’re a kind of fucking hypnotizer.” 

“I don’t know; I hope you are right, Alex, or he’s gonna forget the words of the song he's singing the moment I am gonna wink at him,” Miles said with a hint of arrogance and Alex rolled his eyes upward before realizing that his words meant also something else.

“This it means we’re going to see them, right?”

“Why it’s so important to see them today, Alex!” 

“I want to go and say hello after the gig; even if we know each other is not that we have properly introduced ourselves and it’s something I wanna do after all these years. And I want to tell them that I like their music and that they have to keep going on because even if today they are playing at The Other Stage in the early afternoon, I am sure that they are destined to something bigger,” Alex replied truly meaning the words, making Miles’ heart almost melt for Alex’s kindness.

“You’re such a sweet cutie pie, Turner.”

“Yes, I am” Alex replied kissing Miles sweetly.

“I think you should go and tell them; they would be happy to hear such nice and encouraging words from Mr. Alex Turner,” Miles said going back to watch TV, not showing Alex any intention to go with him.

“Are you sure you trust me going backstage without you?” Alex asked doing his best to sound ambiguous, trying desperately to get Miles jealous or worried about his intentions.

“I trust you unconditionally, my love,” Miles replied, determined not to let Alex convincing him to get up from the couch. He knew Alex enough to know that he loved him more than his own life and he would never cheat on him for whatever reason. A long time ago, they had both understood that they’ve been so lucky to have found each other; they knew they were kindred spirits, they knew that they were born to stay together and they knew that it didn’t exist anyone else on planet Earth that could fit the other perfectly the way they did. 

“But it’s not funny going to a gig alone!” Alex said with the tone of voice that he generally used to match his pouting face. Miles kept looking at the TV, trying his best not to look at Alex and at his pleading, beautiful face so Alex decided it was time to take tough action. 

Miles heaved a sigh of relief as soon as Alex got up off the couch and left, but he didn’t think about the fact that the man could have just drawn up a plan.

Five minutes later, Miles almost chocked while drinking from his bottle of beer as Alex showed up completely naked except for the rubber boots and a smirk on his face, placing himself between Miles’ eyes and the TV screen.

“So, Miles, you have two options. I take off my rubber boots, put my clothes on, sit down next to you and fall asleep within five minutes while you’re watching TV waiting to step on stage,” Alex said with no enthusiasm, “or…”

“Or?” Miles said as he was now looking attentively at Alex with his mouth half opened, waiting for what his boyfriend had to say.

“Or I keep the boots on, leave my clothes in the bunks where they are now and sit down on your lap; but when we are done, Kane, you come with me and see the guys playing,” Alex said in a very husky and sexy tone of voice, making Miles shiver and getting hard in a record time.

“You are the Devil, Alexander. Do you know this, don’t you?”

 

One hours later, Alex was happily dragging Miles outside the bus. Miles was trying his best to walk in the mud without getting his clothes dirty but Alex didn’t mind to pay attention where he was walking; his main interest was to arrive at The Other Stage before the gig begun and find a good spot to watch them.

“Come on, Miles! Nobody is gonna criticize you for having your clothes a bit dirty at Glastonbury!” Alex mocked and Miles couldn’t help but notice the happy smile on his man’s face. Alex still looked like the boy who walked with him in the Glastonbury’s mud several years ago and every time it was amazing to realize that nothing inside him had changed. Now Alex was a famous and a pretty rich rock star but he still was his Alexander, the shy and passionate boy that destiny had brought into his life. “And anyway you’re gonna get dirty when we’ll begin to dance,” Alex added, giving Miles one more reason not to bother to keep his clothes immaculate.

“I don’t remember Hurts playing dancing songs,” Miles said with a frown, as he began to walk faster to keep Alex’s pace. 

“Because you didn’t listen to ‘Surrender’ as I have suggested you to do,” Alex said pointing the finger against Miles’s shoulder as he was now walking next to him. Miles smiled and hurried to apologize, kissing quickly Alex on the cheek and earning a mischievous smile in return. 

As soon as they reached the right area, they began to walk through the crowd and Miles took Alex’s hand in his so he was sure that they didn’t get lost. They found a nice spot on one side of the stage and, luckily, only few people were crowded under the platform so there was enough space around to enjoy the gig in the best way possible, both men ready to perform some of their weird dancing moves in the mud while listening to Hurts.

 

The gig was not the best they’ve ever played but, given what it had happened in the previous days, it was successfully performed by Adam and Theo. There were cameras recording and streaming the gig for the ones who couldn’t attend to and for this reason, both Adam and Theo decided to keep their glasses on, none of them looking at their best despite their fancy and cool clothes and impeccable hairstyle. The singer had been supported by a gospel chorus – _the big surprise for the fans_ \- that helped him with the high notes of some difficult songs while the bandmates helped Adam; even if the man had done few mistakes while playing piano and guitar, nobody in the crowd had noticed them. Paul, Pete and Lael had been nervous during the whole gig and it had been sad for them to see how the two men avoided to stay close on the huge stage, Adam looking like if he was just another musician and not one half of Hurts. 

Even if Theo had tried to look relaxed with him around before the gig began, Adam knew that the singer was still angry with him. Adam knew Theo enough to feel that he was still resenting him for what had happened and so he had decided not to walk in front of the stage and next to the singer the first time he had had to play his guitar. He had waited for a sign from Theo that he was allowed to reach him but Theo had never looked at his left to search for him as usual and, consequently, he didn’t dare to approach him. Theo barely said few words to the audience and threw the white roses to the crowd without the usual enthusiasm and Adam felt so bad that decided that he wouldn’t be able to play the intro for Wonderful Life alone, too scared he would play the wrong notes. 

 

After their performance, they were all together backstage, Adam and Theo talking separately with some members of the band. Adam was talking with Paul, trying desperately to calm down before facing Theo in the next minutes, Paul doing his best to help him feel relaxed even if he could read the fear in the man’s eyes. Theo was talking with Pete and Lael about what had happened with Adam because he knew that the guys were worried about them. He asked if Adam had talked with them or simply behaved as nothing had happened and even if the guys were trying not to say that Adam had pretended that everything was okay, Theo had understood it clearly. After all, he knew Adam better than everyone did and his stupid behaviour was not a surprise. When he had briefly hugged Adam after being separated for three days, he had hoped that Adam would not let him break the hug. He had hoped that Adam would hug him back holding him in his arms telling him something like – _I am so happy to see you_ ,- or - _I missed you, don’t ever let me alone again_ -, but, obviously, it was too much to ask and nothing of that had happened.

Matt and Jak were also there talking about the situation while keeping an eye on Adam and Theo. They were both a bit disheartened after seeing them on stage and Jak was worried that if Adam would not approach Theo and show him some kind of interest very soon, his brother would gone mad. 

Paul answered to a phone call and left Adam alone for a moment. He had expected Theo to approach him after the gig but the singer kept himself busy talking with people that were wandering around backstage and didn’t give away any hint that he wanted to settle things. 

“Maybe you should go and talk to him now that he is alone,” Jak said approaching Adam as soon Theo disappeared in their dressing room. 

“Okay,” Adam said and Jak put a hand on his shoulder squeezing it lightly, trying to tell Adam he could do it and he could solve things. The guitarist couldn’t remember the last time he had approached Theo after a brawl; usually it was always Theo searching for him, eager to solve thing even when it wasn’t his fault, but things were different now and Adam realized that he had to make the first step, hoping not to make things worse.

“Theo?” Adam called softly as soon as he heard Theo closing the water tap in the little shower.

Theo had heard Adam’s words but he didn’t want to reply; he didn’t feel he could have a decent conversation with Adam and he just hoped that the man would leave.

“Theo?” Adam called again, using more voice now, hoping that Theo was not deliberately ignoring him. The singer rolled his eyes upward and he pulled the hood of the bathrobe on his head in the attempt not to listen to Adam calling him again but, unfortunately, it didn’t work. He decided it was better to face Adam as soon as possible because he had gigs to see and alcohol to drink and he didn't want to waste time.

“What?” Theo said as he opened the door of the little bathroom that was inside their dressing room, walking toward his suitcase.

“I just wanted to see if you are okay,” Adam said hesitantly, taken aback by Theo’s harsh tone.

“I think it’s evident I am not. I thought it was evident that I felt like shit while I was on stage and I am pretty sure it’s still evident now, Adam.”

“You shouldn’t have drun-”

“Fuck, Adam! I don’t need you to tell me that I am feeling bad because I’ve drunk too much. Of course I’ve drunk too much, but I did it because I am in love with someone who doesn't understand what love means!”

Adam was standing there looking at him. Theo clearly looked like hell not only for the alcohol but because he was hurt and he had just told him something stupid, making him feel even worse. 

Theo couldn’t believe that after being separated for three days Adam just asked him how he was feeling when it was pretty evident he was feeling bad and, most of all, he couldn’t believe he was ready to give him a lecture about how was inevitable feeling like shit after getting drunk for two days in a row. He couldn’t believe that Adam hadn’t still hugged him saying how much he had missed him, telling him that they must get over this surreal moment together. Theo hadn’t changed idea about the fact that what has happened was only Adam’s fault but this didn’t mean that he was waiting for Adam to apologize cause he didn’t need apologizes. He just needed his boyfriend to show him that he cared for him even when they were not secluded into their apartment like now. 

“Theo…maybe we should go home and…forget what’s happened,” Adam said and Theo shook his head, picking up some fresh clothes from the suitcase without saying a word. 

“Theo? Please let’s go back home. I am ready to listen to all the things you want to say to me and I promi-”

“I need some time for myself, Adam. I am gonna enjoy some gigs here with my brother so you can go home without me tomorrow morning,” Theo said as he wore his clothes. 

Adam didn’t know what to think; he couldn’t understand if Theo was still angry with him and was thinking about taking a pause from their relationship or if he just needed two more days to spend with his brother having fun and listening to music. After all, Glastonbury’s has always been Theo’s favourite festival even when they were young and were not musicians for a living.

As Theo left the room without saying any other word, Adam had a shower and got dressed, trying his best not to look too much desperate when it was time to reach the bandmates.

Matt and the others wanted to cheer Adam up after they saw Theo leaving the dressing room alone and with a sad face but, honestly, they didn’t know what to do. They decided to let Theo go away alone and when Adam reached them some minutes later, they simply convinced him to go and see The 1975 that were playing on the same stage, hoping that the man could relax a bit and maybe ask for some advice or…help. At some point, someone informed them that they needed to leave the backstage and it was then that Adam noticed Theo in the distance talking with two men. As soon as he and the other bandmates got closer to the singer, they all recognised Alex Turner and Miles Kane and they all noticed how Theo looked suddenly full of life as he was talking to them animatedly. Adam and the rest of the band gave them a nod and then, walked past them; Adam was feeling a bit confused seeing Theo smiling and behaving like if everything was okay and Paul, Pete and Lael were feeling bad for what had just happened.

“Wasn’t he Adam?” Alex said as he pointed his finger toward the thin bearded man, a bit surprised that he had not stopped and joined the conversation, showing no interest in introducing himself officially. They had seen each other around during parties or festivals in the past years, but they never had the opportunity to have a talk and become friends. 

“Yes,” Theo replied, and Alex perceived some tension in Theo’s voice, noticing sadness popping up into his eyes.

“Did you have a fight before the gig? Because I’ve noticed you weren’t connected at all on stage,” Miles said and Alex gave him a nudge in the ribs for his inappropriate comment.

“Ouch!” Miles said with a squeaky voice, bending down and feigning to be in pain.

Theo laughed faintly and Miles straightened up hugging Alex with one arm, dragging the smaller man toward him to kiss him on the cheek. Theo couldn’t help but notice how the two men were so relaxed around each other and how Miles’ gesture hadn’t cause any embarrassment to Alex. Theo had not understood yet if the rumors about them were true but in any case, he felt jealous of their relationship, whatever it was.

“Sorry, he’s an idiot,” Alex said rolling his eyes, and Theo now chuckled while looking at Miles who was now pulling faces at Alex.

“I am sorry that you’ve seen us in our worst performance ever,” Theo said with a hint of sadness but Miles hurried to cheer him up.

“Don’t worry, Theo. We know you’re a great band,” Miles said before his phone began to ring. He excused himself and let Alex and Theo alone.

“I know it’s not my business but...the fight you had...work or private stuff?” Alex asked feeling embarrassed after the question; he felt a bit like a snooper but it was too late now to take his words back and he just hoped that Theo wouldn’t feel uncomfortable.

“Private stuff,” Theo answered not bothered by the questions and Alex could see again the sadness in the man’s eyes.

“Well, then it will be easier to solve. If you begin arguing about the band, there’s not much you can do than follow your own road but if it’s just between you and him, you can get over it,” Alex said in a very reassuring way. Theo let a shy smile appear on his face and thanked Alex for his words. Until few minutes before, Alex was not sure about the level of friendship that there was between Adam and Theo but now, he knew for sure that they were also a couple. He instinctively put an arm around Theo’s shoulder dragging him close in the attempt to comfort him and it was then that Adam had turned his face in their direction to check if the three men were leaving the backstage area too. When Adam looked at Alex and Theo alone, with Alex almost hugging Theo and Theo resting his head on Alex’s shoulder, he couldn’t help but feeling furious. 

– _Smiles, laughs and now also a hug and some cuddles_ \- Adam uttered under his breath, but loudly enough to be heard by his bandmates.

“What?” Paul asked and Lael, who had noticed Adam turning his head few seconds before, turned to look at Theo, understanding Adam’s reaction. 

“Nothing. Let’s go and see The 1975,” Adam said and the guys did their best to keep him calm after Lael had briefly explained them, without Adam noticing it, what had happened few minutes before between Alex and Theo.

Adam tried to enjoy the gig; he tried but he couldn’t stop thinking about Theo and Alex. He was always jealous of people paying attention to his boyfriend but this time his jealousy had reached its peak and didn’t let him think clearly, anger and disappointment growing each passing second. He was not anymore sad for Theo feeling bad, he was furious with him.  
After the gig, they all went together to eat something and then Paul and Lael decided to reach Theo at The Last Shadow Puppet’s gig at The Pyramid Stage while Adam and Pete returned to the bus. 

Pete felt bad knowing that Adam was having troubles but he also knew that the guitarist was not the talkative type like Theo was; he always refused to open up with people when it came to his private life. Adam had no problems searching for advice or help when he had troubles with music but he would never talk about his personal troubles even if they knew each other since almost six years. The only person that Adam trusted unconditionally was the singer, the person that now was the reason of his suffering.  
Pete didn’t even try to ask him anything after what had happened with Alex; the guitarist looked so pissed off and blinded by rage that he simply asked him if he wanted to watch a movie before going to sleep. Adam agreed and sat down on the couch in the relaxing area but, obviously, his mind was somewhere else. 

 

Paul and Lael arrived at the bus very late at night, slightly drunk for celebrating with Theo, Alex and Miles after their gig. Paul stumbled and fell on the floor dragging Lael with him and, consequently, they started laughing loudly, just in case Adam and Pete hadn't heard them already. Adam cursed and prohibited the two idiots to come in the bunk area, telling them they could sleep and snore on the couch, getting an approval nod from Pete. The man got up and gently pushed Paul and Lael out of the bunks area, afraid that Adam could suddenly punch them both to vent his anger for what was going on with Theo since the past three days.

Lael was rather a quiet guy but he always became too much talkative and loud when he drank too much and, consequently, he began telling Pete how great The Last Shadow Puppets’ performance had been, with Pete trying unsuccessfully to keep him quiet.

“Lower your voice, Lael!” Pete murmured but nobody listened.

“When they made the cover of Bowie, Theo went crazy,” Lael went on and Paul joined Lael in giving Pete details about the performance; Miles playing saxophone like a God, Alex lying on stage watching at Miles with dreamy eyes, them sharing microphones and so on. Pete was almost regretting for missing it but, honestly, he didn’t felt like leaving Adam alone and anyways, it was his turn to take care of the sick/depressed/drunk/in-bad-mood bandmate and that was a rule that nobody could break for any reason.

“Anyway, those two are so funny! And the party after the gig was great; we had lot of fun with them, they are the best when it comes to celebrate.”

“Where’s Theo? I hope Jak is with him now,” Pete asked, just to be sure that the singer was not wandering around the festival area alone getting into troubles.

“Jak found company for the night and told Theo he couldn’t go back to their hotel room so Bambi ended up sleeping on the bus with Alex and Miles,” Paul said a bit too much loudly and Pete hit him on the head for being such an idiot.

“Their girlfriends went away after the party and we’re almost sure they are some kind of cover-up girlfriends, if you know what I mean,” Lael said raising repeatedly both his eyebrows, making Paul laughing like an idiot while repeating the gesture.

“Adam and Theo should have a couple of fake girlfriends too, so Adam wouldn’t be so paranoid,” Paul added, exchanging a high five with Lael. Pete was shaking his head hoping that for some kind of miracle Adam had not been able to catch any of the words just uttered by the two drunken idiots but he knew that it wasn’t possible and he was ready for a sleepless night.

Adam was in his bunk cursing at Theo. He could imagine him finally leaving the dream, being into a sandwich with Alex and Miles and having the time of his life while he, on the contrary, was in a damn bus bunk being consumed by jealousy and rage. The fact that Paul had said he was paranoid, had turned him even angrier because it meant that Theo had told them the details of their fight. Adam got up, headed to the relaxing area and with a harsh tone, he questioned Paul.

“Why the fuck are you saying I am paranoid?”

“Adam, let it go; he’s drunk” Pete said walking toward Adam who was looking at Paul pretty annoyed.

“Theo says you are paranoid and, frankly, he’s right. You always keep him at distance, Adam! When we are here watching a movie all together, we know that Theo wants to hug you so bad but he doesn’t do it because otherwise you’d freak out!” Lael said and then, he hugged Paul who was right next to him. “Why are you so scared of hugs? Look, we are not scared!”

“We are grown up men and we do not get embarrassed if Theo hugs you or gives you a kiss in front of us. I am not saying I would like to look at you snogging on the couch half-naked but a kiss it’s…it’s a kiss for heaven’s sake! Or do you think we are that kind of wankers that consider you and Theo reproachable, immoral and a freak of nature? I hope not,” Paul said looking at Lael to get a confirmation for his words.

“I’d hug him and kiss him if he was my boyfriend,” Lael said looking at Adam while pointing at Paul, and the guitarist decided he had had enough.

“I am happy to discover that Theo told you in details what has happened few days before; I am also happy to see that you all consider him a victim,” Adam said and he was about to leave when Paul spoke again.

“Yes, Adam, he is a victim. Sorry if you don’t like to hear this. You took four months to come out to us even if we were doing our best to put you at easy.” 

“Paul, fuck!” Pete exclaimed and he got ready for the worst.

“What did you just said?”

“Adam, let’s go back to the bunks,” Pete said, and he put his hands on Adam’s shoulder to guide him in the other area.

“Let me go, Pete. Is there something that Theo doesn’t tell you? It’s my fucking life, for God’s sake! This has nothing to do with our music or this fucking band! You don’t need to know what the hell Theo and I do beyond our job.”

“Theo is not going around telling everybody your private stuff, Adam” Pete said, trying desperately to save the sinking ship.

“Well, Pete, it seems the opposite to me.”

“That time _we_ asked Theo if there was something going on with you and we did it just because we wanted to let him know that we were totally fine and happy if you were into a relationship. He tried to deny it at the beginning because he had made a promise to you but his eyes were smiling even if his mouth was not and he was so damn happy that he couldn’t hide it. Today, after the gig, he just felt like he had to give us an explanation about why he was not on the bus as always and probably he needed to talk to someone who knew the situation he’s living,” Pete said calmly, hoping that Adam would stop creating problem that didn’t exist and, instead, calm down a bit. Unfortunately, Adam was stubborn and too much angry to think about to calm down so he walked toward the bunk area, got dressed and left. Pete followed him trying unsuccessfully to bring him back and after ten minutes, he returned to the bus alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, I hope you liked this chapter ;-))
> 
>  
> 
> At least this shitty day ended up with something good


	5. Chapter 5

**1 DAY AFTER GLASTONBURY**

When Adam arrived in London, it was almost dawn. He had wandered around the festival area for a full hour before he admitted to himself that he had no intention to go back to the bus. He knew for sure that Lael and Paul were probably asleep by now and would slept until the arrival in London given the fact they were drunk; he was also sure that Pete would not talk to him about what had happened unless he would ask Pete to have a talk. Anyway, even if he could easily put his earphones on and ignoring everyone, he didn’t feel like staying on that damn bus knowing that all his bandmates were on Theo’s side. Consequently, when it was already four in the morning, he had decided to hire a car with a driver and he had spent two hours trying to cope with the events happened on the way home. Theo had almost refused to talk to him after the gig and when he had done it, he had told him he needed some time alone, as if staying away from home for three days hadn’t be enough. Few minutes later, Theo had met Alex and Miles and suddenly he was looking and acting like the happiest man in the world. He had gone to see their performance at the Pyramid Stage and, after that, he had been invited to their after-gig party. But that wasn’t enough, obviously, and now Theo was sleeping on Miles and Alex’s bus. – _Sleeping…yes, I can imagine which kind of sleep are you having, wanker! _\- Adam mumbled under his breath, equally pissed off and jealous. Adam didn’t understand if the meeting with the two members of The Last Shadow Puppets had been casual or if Theo had been approached by them while he was in Glastonbury the night before. Adam couldn’t remember if he had spotted them in the crowd during the gig but he was sure that they hadn’t approach the singer because they were interested in their music; in fact, none of them bothered to ask where the other half of Hurts was, and didn’t show any interest to talk to him when their path crossed briefly.__

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– _Fuck you Turner_ \- Adam said aloud this time, as soon as he arrived home and closed the door behind him. He had murmured it throughout the trip to London and now was finally able to shout it aloud. Adam plumped down on the couch; he closed his eyes just for few seconds before opening them immediately as the image of a naked Theo being kissed and touched by Alex and Miles appeared in front of him. Paul and Lael had said that Turner and Kane’s girlfriends were not really their girlfriends; they were just some women the two men brought around with them to keep up the appearance and the fact their fake girlfriends didn’t even sleep on the bus with them, meant that Alex and Miles were really into a relationship. Even if Adam didn’t know them personally, he was sure they were not the kind of couple he and Theo were; Adam imagined they were the type of couple that didn’t mind having fun with someone else from time to time and Theo was perfect for the part. He was a handsome man, also a curious one and Adam was sure that he was equally bold and angry enough to enjoy being the third men in their relationship for a while. After all, the only reason why Theo didn’t want to talk and come back home was that he had something better to do, like trying new experiences with two gay famous rock stars. But what was he supposed to do now? Staying at home and waiting for Theo coming back from his wild Glastonbury after having had a threesome with Alex Turner and Miles Kane? Did Theo really think that he would accept him cheating only because he had taken a break from their relationship? Adam couldn’t believe that this was actually happening. – _Honestly, it can’t be possible _.- Adam’s mood went on changing every five minutes. He missed Theo terribly and hated being in that house without having him around but he was bloody angry with him and wanted to beat him black and blue. He burst into tears for having lost the love of his life but he kept cursing him for having sex with someone else. He went go on like that for two full hours when, finally, the exhaustion for the sleepless night and the stress of the recent events had knocked him down.__

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*

It was middle afternoon when Theo slowly woke up in a bunk; even if he was still half-asleep, he knew that he was not on his bus. These bunks were bigger and more comfortable, and it didn’t take too much to him to remember where he was as soon as he heard a familiar voice.

“Welcome back, Theo” Miles said smiling and Theo felt his head hurt like hell and, instinctively, he closed his eyes and put his hands on his ears. “Sorry,” Miles apologized as he realized how bad was Theo’s hangover. “Don’t worry, honey, I have something to make you feel better,” Miles said in a whisper this time, and Theo sighed. He was hungover again and he was feeling like shit again.

“I hope you’re right, Miles, because I feel more dead than alive,” Theo murmured, looking rather in pain.

“This is Miles’ magic mix and it’s gonna bring you back to life pretty soon; it’s 100% guaranteed,” he went on, trying to speak as quiet as possible, waiting for Theo to open his eyes and keep them open.

“How much did I drink?”

“I'd say too much,” Miles replied showing him a glass full of a green colored liquid. “Now get up and drink it.”

Theo grunted again but he knew that it was better to get up and make this hangover pass as soon as possible. With a big effort, he pushed his upper body up and he was ready to leave the bunk when he realized that he was naked.

“What the hell has happened yesterday night?” Theo asked a bit confused, as he looked at Miles in front of him trying hard not to laugh.

“We had lot of fun yesterday night, how could you have forgotten it! You had the idea of having a threesome and yes, let me say it’s been a great idea, because I enjoyed it a lot,” Miles said approaching Theo’s cheek and giving him a peck as to thank him. Theo was still processing the information that he had just received from the man when Alex appeared behind Miles.

“Do not listen to Miles’ bullshit, Theo! You simply vomited all over yourself while we were coming to the bus and we had to strip you naked and put you in the shower,” Alex said, giving Miles an annoyed look for the way he was making fun of Theo.

“Well, Alex, it was _me _that had to clean him last night so I thought I could make a fun of him for a couple of minutes,” Miles replied, reminding Alex what _he _had to do the night before while he, on the contrary, was just complaining for Theo stinking to high heaven.____

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“It’s not my fault if the smell made me feel sick, Miles. It's not that I didn't want to help you!” Alex said, trying to excuse himself for having let Miles do the dirty job alone.

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“Well, it’s not that I like the smell of vomit, Alex.”

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“So...nothing has happened, right?” Theo asked, just to be 100% sure and interrupt the embarrassing dialogue.

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“We just had a shower together, Theo, and believe me when I say that none of us had found it exciting, especially me,” Miles answered chuckling.

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“Thanks, Miles. I am so sorry that you had to clean up my mess,” Theo said feeling extremely embarrassed for what had happened. 

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“Don’t worry; I am pretty used to do it with Alex!” Miles said and Alex rolled his eyes upward.

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“It has happened only when I was young, Miles; now I know how to hold my drinks,” the man replied and Miles pulled Alex close to kiss his brow.

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“Yes, you’re not a baby anymore,” Miles replied as he handed the glass to Theo to kiss Alex properly. Theo took the glass from Miles’ hand and decided he didn’t need to ask him what there was inside the Miles' magic mix because it was clear that the man cared for him and would not poisoned him. Theo downed the glass in two gulps, trying his best not to taste the liquid too much with his tongue because he was sure that it was pretty disgusting. Luckily, it wasn’t that bad when his tongue accidentally tasted it and he was ready to drink another glass, hoping that he would feel better more quickly. 

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“I went to your bus to search for some clothes but it had already left so I guess you can wear Miles’ ones because mine are probably too short and big for you,” Alex said as soon as he parted from Miles’s kiss. 

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“But Theo can wear your boxers brief, honey; you’re pretty much the same size down there,” Miles said raising his eyebrows and approaching Alex’s face for another kiss.

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“You’re an idiot, Miles.”

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“A horny idiot,” Miles said grabbing Alex’s ass and searching again for his boyfriend’s lips, giving him a rather passionate kiss.

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Theo was looking at them pretty amazed for the way they were joking in front of him; he didn’t need Adam to be like Miles in front of his bandmates, he just wanted Adam to be able to give him a peck on the lips and hug him, nothing else. Theo was sure that it was not too much to ask while they were on the bus with their bandmates, and every minute he spent with Alex and Miles, he made him realize how he couldn’t accept Adam’s behaviour anymore.

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“I am sorry for all the trouble I’ve caused guys; I am gonna call my brother and ask him to come here with my clothes and pick me up so we can go back to London and you can go on doing … your stuff. Where’s my phone? Don’t tell me I’ve lost it, please,” Theo asked a bit worried at the idea he could have lost it somewhere. 

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“You’ve not lost it, it’s downstairs,” Alex said with a smile and walked down the stairs to pick it up.

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As soon as Theo unlocked his phone, he noticed a message from his brother. _Theo I’m sorry but I’m leaving to Berlin with Brigitte. Your stuff it’s at the hotel. Take care _.__

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“Great!” Theo exclaimed as he rolled his eyes upward and sighed. “My brother left with the girl he met last night so I guess you should borrow me some clothes so I can go to the hotel and pick up my stuff before going back to London.”

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“No problem,” Miles said and he hurried to pick some clothes for Theo. 

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Alex stayed with the brokenhearted singer until Miles was back, and he could see that the man still looked sick and absolutely not in the condition to go back home alone.

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“We can bring you to the hotel and honestly, you should stay there tonight and rest. We’re going to London tomorrow morning so we can come and pick you up at the hotel and go to the city together,” Alex said and Miles agreed with him about the fact that Theo could not leave now in such bad condition.

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Thirty minutes later, they were at Theo’s hotel. Unfortunately there was no chance to stay for another night because of a very important medical conference and Alex and Miles didn’t even need to talk about that and told Theo to stay in the bus with them for another night.

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“Guys you’re so nice but I think I’ve already abused of your hospitality,” Theo said, feeling really uncomfortable for being around them for another day.

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“You look like a walking dead, Theo, and there’s no hurry to go back to London alone to stay alone in another hotel room,” Miles said, sure of the fact that Theo didn’t want to go home and face Adam.

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Theo was still feeling sick and, most of all, miserable and sad and their offer, honestly, was something that he couldn’t refuse.

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Few hours later, they were having dinner in a fancy restaurant. Theo had slowly begun feeling better as the Miles’ magic mix had kicked in, and after eating the appetizer and the main course, his good mood was back. The singer began to talk and went on almost relentlessly for a full hour. There were fifteen years of his life to tell Alex and Miles, and the guys were listening at him pretty amused for the way Theo was telling them the stories about he and Adam, gesturing and showing several funny expressions on his face. 

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“So after being strangers, internet friends, friends, bandmates and best friends...we fell in love. 

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“And how has happened?” Alex asked, eager to listen to a more detailed story.

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“Adam went through a very black period and it has been instinctive for me to take care of him, protect him and help him. I moved to his apartment to stay with him night and day and he slowly felt better but he had become totally dependent on me because I was his beacon, his savior and you know… At some point, we began to feel that something had changed between us but none of us talked to the other about that. I just thought that I was feeling something more for him because we were together 24/7 and everyday it was a rollercoaster of emotions. Adam thought he was feeling something because I was taking care of him but when Adam felt better and we went back to work…it was a mess to concentrate on music! We realized that we couldn’t just pretend that everything was like before and so one day I took the courage and told him that I was in love with him. And it’s been such an amazing thing, you know…We’ve never been into a relationship with another man before so the first kiss we’ve shared was like the first kiss of our life! And also the first time we made love had been pretty mind blowing! The days spent knowing each other as boyfriends had been amazing; it’s something I will never forget,” Theo said with dreamy eyes and a smile on his face and Alex and Miles were looking at him genuinely moved by his words.

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“Fuck, Theo, you made me remind of me and this baby when we finally stop pretending to be friends and became lovers,” Miles said, dragging Alex close to him to kiss him on the cheek. Alex smiled and murmured an _I love you _to Miles who, immediately, told Alex he loved him too with heart shaped eyes.__

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Theo was looking at them totally raptured. He felt his heart sink looking at them behaving like that and after recalling all that memories about he and Adam, he couldn’t help but sigh and feel his eyes tearful. Why he couldn’t have what they had? Why it was so difficult for Adam behave like a human being and not like a robot? As soon as Alex and Miles had stopped staring into each other’s eyes sharing dozens of lovingly thoughts and feelings, they look at Theo sitting in front of them and they froze. The man was staring at them with a miserable look on his face and was trying his best not to cry, making them feeling like shit.

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“Theo?” Are you okay? Alex asked, feeling rather guilty.

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Theo didn’t manage to reply and just nodded, but a second later, he excused himself and walked toward the restrooms. Alex and Miles looked at him leaving and Alex was about to get up and follow him when Miles stopped him.

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“He tried so hard not to cry in front of us, Alex, so let him go and cry alone; I bet he’s gonna feel better in five minutes,” Miles said and Alex nodded, searching for Miles’s hands to interlace their fingers, realizing how lucky he was for the man sitting next to him. 

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Theo came back ten minutes later, apologizing for leaving them. Alex and Miles hurried to comfort him and tell him that everything would be okay and they were happy to notice that Theo looked a little less miserable than before. They ordered something else to eat and Miles cheered Theo up with his jokes, making Alex blush a couple of times. Miles had ordered another bottle of wine and had constantly refilled Theo’s glass, being careful to make him drink just the quantity he needed to feel a bit light-hearted without getting him drunk. The three men went on talking and laughing for a while; Theo was now relaxed enough to be able to control his feeling so he decided to bring back the previous issue.

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“You’re goal, guys. You’re such an amazing couple,” Theo said with a genuine smile and both men could see how brokenhearted he was while telling the words.

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“Thanks Theo. But don’t worry, everything will be okay with Adam,” Alex said outstretching his hand to catch Theo’s arm, giving him a slight squeeze while Miles gave Theo a wink and a reassuring smile.

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“I don’t know how we’re gonna solve it. We both want the same thing, being together, but we want to do it in a different way,” Theo said with a sad smile, looking at both men in front of him.

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“Adam just needs to overcome his fears; I wasn’t at easy like that at the beginning. I was a bit worried every time we were among people,” Alex explained trying to give Theo a hope.

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“He would never dare doing any of the thing you did tonight which, honestly, had not been something so bold or cheeky. And this even in front of our brothers or our bandmates that are our friends and have absolutely no problem with us being into a relationship. I do not see where we can go given the situation,” Theo said a bit disheartened.

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“I bet he’s thinking about you right now. I am sure he misses you a lot and had already realized that he need to change his behaviour,” Miles said, and he flashed him a reassuring smile before calling the waiter and order their dessert.

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	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> for you queen <3

**2 DAYS AFTER GLASTONBURY**

Adam woke up at the sound of the alarm clock. He stretched and he felt a bit stiff, his back hurting a little because, once again, he had fallen asleep on the couch. It was a lovely couch the one he and Theo had bought few months ago but, unfortunately, it wasn’t designed to be used like a bed as he was doing since Theo had left. At least, Adam was grateful for the fact he had not had any nightmare as happened the night before Glastonbury even if he had spent most of the previous day imaging a naked Turner and naked Kane taking care of his naked boyfriend.  
Adam got up on his feet and after stretching again, he took a quick shower and got ready to go to the gym as usual, hoping that he would be able not to think about anything for at least two hours.

*

It was almost eleven in the morning when the bus reached London. Alex and Miles had booked a room for them and one for Theo as the man didn’t want to go home and see Adam. Theo still owned his old flat but, unfortunately, it was the one where Jak, his brother, was living now and the keys of that flat were in Berlin with Jak. Staying in hotel for some days was not a problem for Theo but he needed some clothes and, therefore, he needed to go to the apartment where he lived with Adam and put some stuff into a suitcase. Theo checked the time and luckily, it was the moment of the day when Adam was supposed to be at the gym. The singer was pretty sure that Adam was there; especially after all it had happen, it was probably the only way for him to vent his anger and his frustration. Theo was sure that Adam hadn’t speak with anyone about what had happened; his boyfriend was too embarrassed to talk to his brother about this kind of stuff and he was sure that if Paul, Pete and Lael had talked with him while on bus, they hadn’t been on his side, making him feel even more angry. Theo sent a message to Lael and hoped the guitarist was at the gym as usual. Lael answered as soon as he noticed his watch vibrating and Theo’s message appearing. He informed Theo that Adam would have stayed at the gym at least for another hour and that he would have done his best to keep him there in case he decided to leave before. They had just greeted each other with a nod when they had met because Adam was still angry with him, but Lael was ready to approach the guitarist to give Theo some more time. 

Alex and Miles decided to accompany Theo to his apartment. The singer looked better this morning but they were not sure if Theo was really _feeling _better. He was probably trying to convince himself that he could live without Adam but they both knew that he was not ready yet to face the real truth. When they arrived at the apartment, Alex decided to go inside with Theo while Miles stayed on the lookout in the car just in case Adam decided to leave the gym earlier than usual. Alex noticed how Theo was nervous as soon as he turned the key in the lock; he knew the man would be overwhelmed by thousands of memories and he was ready to support him whatever he wanted to do, stay or leave.__

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“This is a really nice house,” Alex said as he gave a quick look around while Theo closed the door.

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“Turner, this house is probably the width of your living room so, please…” Theo said patting Alex' shoulder almost chuckling for the man's words.

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“And so what? I like it! I like your style and, honestly, it’s much more cozy than mine. Sometimes I feel lonely inside of it, even when there’s Mile inside but he’s not in the same room with me.”

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“Well, yes, I like our house. But honestly, I wouldn’t mind having a swimming pool and a garden for some healthy sunbathing and pool parties like the one you have in L.A.”

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“I don’t think you could use a swimming pool a lot in London,” Alex said as he followed Theo toward the bedroom, stopping outside of it. He took another look around and he noticed, through a half opened door, their studio.

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“Can I give a look at your studio when you’re done?”

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“You can do it alone while I finish to pack. It’s the door on your right.”

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Alex opened the door and took few steps in it. He liked the room and, honestly, he had been impressed by the grand piano that stood right in the middle of it. He didn’t know that Adam had such a passion for piano. He was sure he had an upright piano together with keyboards and synths but he didn’t expect to see such a beautiful instrument in the center of the room. Dozen of guitars were lying on one wall and on the opposite one, there were lots of electronic stuff that Alex barely understood how they worked. The room was almost bigger than the living room and included also a table, a big and very comfy-looking couch and a fridge. Alex sat down at the piano and he placed his fingers on it but at the very last moment, he decided that maybe it was not the case to play it without asking permission to the owner. Alex was about to get up when Theo appeared on the doorframe.

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“Stay! And play something, please” Theo asked and Alex smiled before nodding at him. He closed his eyes for a moment and let his fingers move on the keys. Theo recognized the notes of “Everything you’ve come to expect” and he crossed his arms against his chest as he leaned against the doorframe to listen to Alex sing and play. Theo was smiling but Alex noticed how the smile on Theo’s face didn’t match with the sadness he could clearly look in his eyes and so he stopped.

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“Why did you stop?” Theo asked looking rather disappointed.

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Alex got up and walked toward him. 

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“You looked so sad despite of that smile on your lips, Theo.”

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“The fact is that….Everything is perfect when we are inside this house. Adam is such an amazing man, the best I could ever have. He’s so lovely when he plays piano for me and he does it every time I ask him to do it, no matter how tired he is. And he’s a sweet guy even if maybe he doesn’t look like that and he often writes things for me and sings them while playing and… I love him, Alex. He’s all I want. He’s smart, funny and after all these years, we still fall asleep in each other’s arms every night. He’s a caring lover and fuck, Alex, there’s nothing I can complain about except that when we’re outside of here he’s frightened to death. He suddenly forgets how much he loves me and how much I need to feel his love for me. I constantly feel rejected from him; it’s like if we are allowed to love each other only in our little world because outside, in the real world, what we feel is unacceptable and I can’t stand it anymore. I am not able to pretend it’s acceptable anymore. I’d like to be able to do it but I am really exhausted to put a smile on my face to show him that everything is okay even when is not. I don’t know what to do, Alex. I love him and I know I can’t live without him but I can’t either go on like that. I don’t think I have the strength to do it anymore.”

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Alex’s eyes were brimming with tears. He was feeling Theo’s pain and misery and he knew what he was going through. He had already seen that pain and that misery in Miles’s eyes once. Those brown eyes, that were usually looking at him with adoration and love and that were lively and constantly smiling at him, had slowly became glassy and lifeless each passing day. No matter how much Miles kept telling him he was okay with his decision, that he understood him and agreed with him; Alex knew that the boy was dying inside but, nonetheless, he hadn’t changed idea until the day he had left him. He had stepped on the bus with a faint smile after Miles had hugged him tight saying he would be okay and he had barely looked at his bandmates that didn’t know how to face the situation. He had looked at Miles’ sad eyes from the window of the bus, telling himself, once again, that Miles was strong enough to cope with his decision and that he would be okay soon. Miles had waved at him, forcing a smile even if his heart had been broken by the love of his life without a valid reason. However, as soon as the bus left and Miles disappeared from his sight, he had begun to cry and luckily, before it was too late, he had yelled at the driver to stop, breaking the awful silence inside the bus. Nick, Matt and Jamie had seen him literally jumping off the bus and running in the direction where they had left Miles, hoping that the boy was still there. He remembered that he had run so fast that, at some point, he couldn’t breathe regularly anymore, feeling a pain on his left side that forced him to stop for few minutes. He had resumed his running until he had noticed the silhouette of a boy on his knees trying to wipe the tears away from his face. He had begun to call Miles’ name but because of the short breath and the sobbing, his voice was not loud enough to be heard. He had kept running, panting heavily and crying like a baby and then Miles had raised his head and noticed him. He had quickly got up on his feet and had run toward him and they had fell into each other’s arms, crying and smiling knowing that they would never separate for the rest of their lives.

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Alex snapped out of his memory and hurried to hug Theo, trying to give him some comfort and the man enjoyed his warm and tight hug.

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“I behaved worse than Adam when I was young. I was sure that Miles and I could not be into a relationship and Miles accepted my decision even if he had tried to convince me I was wrong for months. I really can’t believe how I could have said those stupid things to Miles; I can’t believe how I could convince him that I was right and he was wrong. But at some point something happened to me and I fixed the mess I have made; I am sure that it’s gonna happen to Adam too,” Alex said giving Theo a hope, the man trying his best not to cry and struggling to let a small smile appearing on his lips when they parted from the hug. 

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“I wanna believe it’s going to happen to him too but it looks something really impossible,” Theo said and Alex put an arm on his shoulder and dragged the man against him, placing a kiss on the man's temple.

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“Do not lose your hope Theo. Now it’s better we go back to the hotel; Miles and I are gonna keep you company if you want us around.”

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“I’d be happy to have you around but I think I’ve already abused too much of you and Miles,” Theo said, sincerely meaning every word coming out of his mouth.

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“Don’t worry, we’re happy to help someone who is going through a hell we’ve already visited,” Alex said chuckling and now Theo’s smile was more sincere.

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*

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When Adam arrived home, he noticed that some of Theo’s stuff was missing. Mainly he brought away some of his clothes and objects from the bathroom but also his favourite book was not on the shelf anymore. He let himself fall on the couch and he decided that it was time to think seriously if he was ready to live his life without Theo, the man who could almost read his mind. The man who was his best friend. The man who had helped him to find a way out from the abyss he had fallen into. The man that had made him discover a new type of love and had made his life happier. It didn’t mind that Theo was a handsome singer and a talented musician and had helped him to realize his dream of being a musician for a living; he was in love with Theodore, the man he had met outside a lousy club, the man that had immediately caught his attention in a crowd, the man that had made him feel appreciated since the very beginning. The answer to his question was very simple; he couldn’t think to live without Theo but, unfortunately, he had to begin to get used to it. Because Theo had gone away and had told him that he needed time alone and now was living on a bus with Alex Turner and Miles Kane, having the time of his life with two men that were obviously more cool than he was. Paul and Lael hadn’t said it to him clearly but Adam had been able to understand it perfectly. – _How can I think to have Theo back? I am just a looser _-__

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*

Theo, Alex and Miles planned a quiet evening; they went out for dinner in a fancy restaurant but then, they ended up to a party of Miles’ friend. After two hours of drinking, Theo was dancing on a raise platform as if he was a go-go dancer, his white shirt out of his pants and completely unbuttoned, his hair falling in front of his eyes with every dance move. Alex was standing in front of him, luckily with his feet on the floor, mirroring Theo’s gestures and inviting the people around them to join the dancing. Miles was standing there laughing at the scene and taking a video just to make fun of Theo and Alex the morning after. Miles was used to Alex’s weird dancing but he had never seen Alex dancing tirelessly like that, totally lost in the rhythm, trying his best to follow Theo’s expert moves. At three in the night, although, Miles decided that it was enough. Alex was slightly tipsy but Theo was visibly drunk and Miles decided he was not going to clean Theo’s vomit again. They left the party and Miles brought Theo in his room with Alex’s help, laying the man down on the bed.

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“Adam!” Theo exclaimed as Miles was taking off the singer’s shoes.

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“I am not Adam, I am Miles,” Miles said approaching Theo’s face so the man could realize that he was not Adam.

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“Why don’t you want me, Adam?”

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“Because… I am Miles????” he answered raising both his eyebrows, stating something that was obvious for him but not for Theo.

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“No, you’re Adam, my boyfriend, and you don’t want to sleep with me anymore.”

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Alex was laughing hard; he was having lot of fun looking at Miles trying to get rid of Theo’s arms around his neck and Miles looked rather annoyed.

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Miles debated if he had to took Theo’s shirt and pants off and he was about to put Theo under the covers full clothed when he heard Alex’s voice behind him.

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“He’s sweaty as fuck, better not to leave him with his clothes on,” Alex said and Miles sighed, rolling his eyes upward. 

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“But you are gonna help me this time,” Miles said and Alex nodded. Miles began unbuttoning Theo’s shirt while Alex took off Theo’s pants and, luckily, everything went smooth as Theo looked already asleep. As soon as Miles lifted up Theo a bit to take off the shirt, the man suddenly woke up throwing his arms around Miles’s neck again. 

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“Adam, did you come for me?” Theo asked with a stupid smile on his face.

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“I-am-Miles, Theo.”

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“I know you are Adam,” Theo said and he tried to kiss Miles while Alex was standing there having trouble breathing for the heavy laughs.

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“Theo, fuck, stop it! I am Miles!”

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“Miles, please, stay. I do not wanna sleep alone. I hate it,” Theo said almost whining, slurring his words.

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“But you are not going to sleep alone, Theo. Here is Teddy. Hug him tight and fall asleep,” Miles said taking the other pillow that was on the bed and putting it into Theo’s arms, hoping that the singer would pass out immediately. Theo hugged the pillow tightly, letting out a deep sigh and, few seconds later, he was dead asleep.  
Alex had stopped laughing and was now looking at Miles with an adoringly look. 

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“You’re such a sweetie, Miles. You know...I think you’d be a great father,” Alex said as he looked at Miles tucking Theo under the sheets.

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“Thanks, love. Why don’t we go to our bedroom and try to make a baby then?” Miles asked with an amused smile on his face and a mischievous look in his eyes.

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“I bet we have to try a lot of times to make this happen,” Alex replied laughing, jumping on Miles’ lap and locking his ankles behind the man’s back.

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“I am happy to do it all night long, baby; I can't wait to see your tummy growing,” Miles said before pushing Alex against the door and kissing him passionately.

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“I don’t think I’d look good with a tummy and I am sure that you’d start looking around for someone else,” Alex said with a worried tone, as if they were really debating about something that could happen for real.

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“What the fuck, Alex, it would be our baby! I’d love your tummy and I wouldn’t go around searching for someone more fit,” Miles said kissing Alex on top of the nose. 

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“Okay, love. Let's go immediately to our room and let’s try our best to make this baby”.

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	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Theo is close to give up and Alex has an idea. Miles obviously is happy to go along with Alex's plan and decides to pay a visit to Adam.

**3 DAYS AFTER GLASTONBURY**

“I don’t think we’re going to solve it. I want what you have and, unfortunately, I can’t have it with Adam. This is the only thing I know for sure,” Theo said as he kept his eyes down, looking at the plate filled with eggs and bacon.

Miles and Alex suddenly stopped eating their breakfast and shared a pretty frightened look. They felt almost guilty for the way they had behaved in front of the singer in the past days, making Theo get to the conclusion that he wanted the same relationship and, therefore, he was ready to give up on Adam without giving him another chance. 

“Don’t say like that, Theo” Miles said, trying to buy time, giving Alex the opportunity to think about something more clever and interesting to say.

“It’s not about giving up, Miles. Adam can’t give me what I need so there’s no point in going on hoping that sooner or lat-”

“I know it’s difficult to understand Adam’s behaviour but listen, Theo, do not take decisions while you are disheartened and a bit hungover. It’s not the right state of mind to take decisions,” Alex said, hoping that Theo was just rambling, searching for attentions and comfort and that he was not really considering to end his relationship.

“I think I deserve to be happy and I am not. No matter how much I am a positive and an optimist person and I manage to let people think that I am okay; deep inside I am not happy and I have to do something because I want to be happy and I deserve to be happy.”

“Hutchie, listen, I know that your heart is broken and your mind doesn’t understand why that idiot loves you but is afraid to show it you. I know how this situation it makes you feel angry and sad,” Miles said putting an arm around Theo’s shoulder and pulling the man close to him. He then took his chin in his hand and forced Theo to look at him while he went on speaking. “I know the pain you are feeling right now and I know that you are confused because there’s a constant fight inside of you between what your heart feels and what your mind tells you,” Miles said in a calm tone of voice, knowing perfectly how Theo was feeling. “I went through this, too. I was constantly fighting between the urgency to punch this idiot in the face and the desire to kiss him and it was driving me crazy and like you, I tried to shut up both my brain and heart getting drunk so I couldn’t feel anything,” Miles continued, visibly moved while saying the words. “But I told myself to wait because Alex worth it. This man was worth every tear, every sleepless night, every fit of anger and I was right. One day something happened and he was there for me, ready to love me unconditionally.”

Alex was sitting next to him and it didn’t take too much before tears began to roll down his cheeks. Theo was looking at the scene and held back the tears he felt ready to well up and decided to leave the two men alone, going back to his room. It looked like Miles had just poured his heart out and let himself go of something Alex knew but had never heard coming out from Miles’ mouth before. 

“Alex?” Miles called softly.

“How could I’ve been so mean to you?” he said between sobs and tears.

“Alex, I am sorry for what I’ve said but I just wanted to help Theo and…sorry I didn’t mean to hurt you with my words.”

“Do not apologize, Miles! You’ve been so patient with me and I can’t think about how much you’ve suffered and I am so sorry, Miles!” Alex went on sobbing.

“Baby, it’s okay! We're together now and I am the happiest man in the world,” Miles said taking Alex in his arms and caressing his back with his hand, trying to calm him down. It was something he had never told to anybody and even if it had been painful to remember, he hoped that at least it would have helped Theo to do the right thing.

 

It took a full fifteen minutes to Alex and Miles to recover from the emotional moment they had had. Miles wiped the last tears from Alex’s face and smiled at him, making Alex smiling him back.

“Did you finish melting my heart with these tears?” Miles asked with one of his smiles that were able to leave Alex absolutely mesmerized.

“Just tell me, Miles…Did you simply forget the pain I’ve caused or you’ve also forgave me?” Alex asked hesitantly.

“I am living the most wonderful love story on planet Earth, Alex. I am happy and in love and I thought you’ve noticed it too! Now stop thinking about the past; we have to do something for Theo and Adam. Maybe you should talk to Adam,” 

“It’s useless, Miles. It’s something he has to understand by himself, otherwise things will remain the same. I am pretty sure that Adam is gonna realize soon how stupid he had been.” 

“I hope it’s gonna been very very soon because Theo is pretty fucked up.”

“I am sure that this break up has already having some effect on Adam. But maybe we could force things…” Alex said, interrupting his speech as if his mind was drawing up a plan. Miles was looking at him pretty amused because Alex’s expression was unique, an odd mixture of goodness and naughtiness and he couldn’t wait to hear what they were about to do.“What about closing them in the bus and let them inside until they solve it?”

“Are you sure it’s gonna work, Aly?” Miles asked with a frown.

“Okay, listen. We know that Adam is in love with Theo. When we went to their apartment, Theo told me that their relationship it’s practically perfect so no way Adam is gonna let Theo leave him and no way Theo is gonna forget Adam. This is a good starting point I guess.”

“Go on,” Miles said with more enthusiasm now, listening attentively to an over excited Alex.

“Adam is a dork; I bet he had never seen Theo crying for being heartbroken because Theo it’s the kind of guy that always want to show that he is strong enough to face everything, you know... Guess if Adam finds Theo crying like a baby knowing that it’s only his fault. I am sure he will find the courage to approach Theo and convince him that he loves him unconditionally and Theo is so stupidly in love with Adam that even if his boyfriend does a little gesture, he’ll go back home with him immediately.”

“Okay, let’s give it a try, Alex. You stay here with Theo and do your best to keep him miserable and on the verge of crying while I go and pick up Adam. I am gonna tell him that Theo is feeling really bad and he’s desperate because he’s sure his boyfriend doesn’t love him. When I send you a message you bring Theo to the bus and I bring Adam to the bus too and then, we lock them inside.”

“Okay, it seems perfect to me. I feel a bit like shit for making Theo feeling sad in the next hour but it’s for his best; I need him to cry like a baby in front of Adam,” Alex said. “Are you sure you’ll be able to bring Adam outside the house? We know he’s kind of grumpy most of the times,” he added but Miles reassured him that he had to consider it already done because he knew how to deal with it.

*

Miles got out of the car and walked toward the chiseled wooden door of the nice building hoping to find Adam at home. Adam was quite surprised when he saw the image of Miles Kane in the screen of the entry phone and he suddenly felt confused but, most of all, terrified. - _What the hell he is doing here? Is Theo okay? _\- He was obviously not in the best state of mind after the days spent barely eating and sleeping with his mind consuming and torturing him twenty-four hours a day adn, for this reason, the weirdest thoughts flashed in front of him all of a sudden. Theo was into an alcoholic coma - _no wait, the hospital would have called me first _-. Theo was going on tour with The Last Shadow Puppets and Miles was here to pick up Theo’s stuff. Miles was here to beat the shit out of him for letting Theo going around shagging his boyfriend. The weird train of thoughts was interrupted by Miles appearing again at the video entry phone.____

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“Which floor, Adam?”

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“Third.”

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Adam decided that probably Alex was not in love with Theo but had just found a new toy to revitalize his relationship with Miles, and it was also impossible that Theo had fallen in love with Alex. – _We have not even broken-up, for heaven’s sake! _\- but it was clear that Theo needed to have some fun after so many years of being together and even if Adam knew that Alex and Miles were into a relationship, he wouldn’t be surprised that they had decided to enjoy a new experience all together. Not to mention that Theo wanted to make him pay for his absurd behaviour… Adam opened the door and Miles appeared in front of him with a serious face.__

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“I am sorry I came here but you should consider bringing your boyfriend back home, please” Miles said in a rather worried tone. 

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Adam was a bit surprise by the words; it looked like Miles wanted Theo out of Alex’s bed and was asking for his help.

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“Adam?”

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“Well I don’t think he wants to come back home. Apparently, he had already found someone better than me.”

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“What do you mean?” Miles asked frowning.

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“Well…Alex. It’s clear there’s something going on between them. I thought you were okay with it but it seems you are not but….anyway, I don’t think I can help you to get rid of Theo.”

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“I think you got it wrong, buddy. Alex is my boyfriend, we are a very happy couple and Alex doesn’t need another partner.”

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“Well, maybe he didn’t tell you yet,”

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“What’s wrong with you, Adam? Stop saying such stupid things because you are making me feel uncomfortable, and, honestly, I feel offended too. What do you think we are? Alex and I are not interested in a threesome or any of the other weird thing you are imagining right now; we love each other and are faithful to each other,” Miles said in an almost harsh tone, doing his best to make Adam feel like shit for having such a bad opinion about them. Miles was the kind of man that didn’t mind what people could think about them and honestly, Adam’s words, made him almost laugh. Nonetheless, his purpose was trying to make the man feel uncomfortable and it looked like he had succeeded. Adam was standing there with a blank expression as it always happened when he felt confused and surprised at the same time. He felt relieved to hear that Theo wasn’t sleeping with any of them but he couldn’t be completely happy. Theo didn’t seem interested to come back home anytime soon, probably bothering Alex and Miles, and this was the reason why Miles Kane was here asking help.

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“And for the records, Theo fancies me, not Alex. Yesterday night he thought I was you and he tried to kiss me and pleaded me do not leave him sleeping alone in bed. Now get dressed and come with me; he should be awaken by the time we arrive at the bus.”

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“What do you want from me, Miles! Theo hates me.”

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“Your boyfriend doesn’t hate you. He is angry with you, I admit it. In the last three days, he said harsh things about you but he always ended up saying how much he misses you. Please, Adam, come with me and solve with him. I can’t stand him talking anymore, really. Does he ever stop talking?” Miles asked with an amused tone, now trying to make feel Adam at ease.

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Adam let a tiny smile appear on his face; he missed Theo’s voice constantly in the background. Even if sometimes he complained with Theo … 

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“And honestly, Adam, we would like to use the days off to relax a bit before going back on tour,” Miles said almost pleading, now trying to make Adam feel how much his help was important.

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“I am sorry but I cannot help you. Theo said he needs time alone and…” Adam wasn’t able to finish his sentence because he felt really bad and on the verge of crying. Miles knew it, obviously. Even if Adam was trying to act as if he didn’t mind, Miles knew he was desperately in love with Theo. Miles knew for sure that Adam wanted Theo back but he was terrified to be rejected and more likely, he didn’t know how to make the first step because he had always let Theo solve any problems between them. Miles felt bad for what he was going to do but he had to bring Adam out of his world and shock him somehow, making him finally see things in another perspective. It would be hard and painful for Adam to hear his words but Miles didn’t see any other option; it was time to tell him the mean speech he had prepared while he was driving here so he put his hands on his hips and sighed.

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“Okay, okay, now I’ve understood the situation. You are not in love with Theo, are you? I mean Theo fell in love with you and you gave it a try, just not to ruin things between you but I guess is not that great for you, right? Miles said nonchalantly and pretending that Adam’s behaviour was understandable given the fact he and Theo had a band together and that Hurts were somehow their _job_.

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“Wh-what the hell are you saying?”

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“Adam, you do not have to feel embarrassed because I understand the situation perfectly. You thought you owed to him when he approached you…you was afraid that you could disband and well, you’ve just played your part. But even if it easy to play it at home when nobody watches you, it’s not easy to do it outside. Am I right, Anderson?” Miles said trying to avoid an accusing tone but making Adam’s feel like shit again.

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“You don’t know anything about us!”

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“Hey, hey, Adam, calm down; I am not judging you. I don’t mind which is the reason why you pretend to be in love with Theo; this is only your business. However, if you do not love him anymore, simply come with me and let this drama finish so Theo can go on with his life. He said he’s never gonna stop doing music with you.”

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“I could never tell him something like that because I love him! I love him with all my heart and soul but I acted too badly with him and he doesn’t want to stay with me anymore!” Adam blurted out, almost shouting the words right in front of Miles’ face. Miles was extremely happy for Adam’s reaction because he had reached his goal while Adam could not believe he had said that to a stranger and in that way.

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“You just said you love him so, please, come with me. Theo is not eating and all he does is drinking himself into oblivion every night. He barely sleeps and when he does it, it’s just because he’s drunk. And when he’s not sleeping, he cries all day long and, seriously, he’s gonna end up at the hospital if you do not come with me now,” Miles added exaggerating things, just to be sure that Adam was definitely knocked out. It was evil telling him those things, he knew it, but the intention was good. Adam felt his head light and his legs become weak; he took a deep breath and managed to put his hand on the little table to keep himself from falling on the ground.

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“Adam? Are you okay?” Miles asked looking at Adam’s pale face, worried that maybe he had exaggerated.

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“I do not want him to go to the hospital. I can’t live without him. I am nothing without him, Miles!” Adam whispered almost in panic, his chin trembling like a child who is doing his best not to cry. 

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“Hey, it’s gonna be okay, Adam” Miles said putting his hands on Adam’s shoulder and looking at him with a reassuring and comforting smile. “Now take a deep breath, get dresses and come with me. We’re gonna solve it easily, don’t worry.”

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“Okay, give me ten minutes” Adam said as he suddenly got a grip on himself. He felt his body getting stronger and his mind clear from any stupid thoughts, ready to bring Theo back home.

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Obviously it took Adam more than ten minutes to get dressed; Miles at some point had approached the room to check if he was okay or if he had passed out for the stress he had caused him before, given the fact he had put the poor man through a rollercoaster of emotions on purpose. Miles appeared on the doorframe of the bedroom and cleared his voice to let Adam know he was there. Adam was dressed really smart, his hair was impeccable and Miles couldn’t help but compliment him for how good looking he was. 

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“He wouldn’t be able to keep his eyes off you,” Miles said looking at Adam, walking around him to appreciate the man from every angle. Adam felt embarrassed for the words and even more for feeling Miles’s eyes on him, appreciating every part of his outfit and body.

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“I hope I did not embarrass you,” Miles said as he realized he had probably exaggerated but he had to make Adam feeling strong and confident for the moment he would meet Theo because at the beginning, the singer, would play hard to get.

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Two minutes later, they were sitting into Miles’ car heading toward the bus where Theo was helping Alex with a song. Miles had never stopped talking since they had left home, trying his best to put Adam in a relaxed mood. He stopped just to check his phone who was buzzing and before he resumed his talking, he was interrupted by Adam looking at him rather worried.

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“Are you sure he will be happy to see me?”

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“Well he’s hungover since three days so do not expect him being the usual cheerful Theo as soon as you meet again. I mean, he’s probably gonna look at you a bit irritated and pretending he’s not interested at you but…he’ll be happy to see you.”

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A silence settled in the car and Miles decided to stay silent for a moment, sure that Adam was going through a little crisis but then, he decided to resume the conversation, not letting Adam overthink and scare himself.

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“Adam, this thing that you’re scared when you are out of your home…come on, buddy, you overcame worse problems and-”

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“What do you know about my problems? What the hell did he tell you?” Adam said really pissed off, as if there was another Adam-man sitting in the car.

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“Fuck, Adam, what’s wrong with you? It’s not that Theo told me about your stuff two minutes after we’ve met…we’ve lived with Theo 24/7 for the past three days and we took care of him after his brother abandoned him to follow a girl he had just met. We didn’t have to think for a minute to let him stay with us and we consider him a friend more than other people we know since more time. And yes, we’ve became close friend in such a little time because Theo is an amazing man and I can’t really understand how are you willing to lose him. Fuck, Adam, he loves you! He loves you with every cell of his body and he opened up with us because well, is not that there are many gay singers into relationships out there he can speak with. He needed to talk and confront with someone who is living in the same circus and Alex and I are probably the only ones that can understand him. We’ve listened to him and we gave him some advice but now it’s your turn, Adam. Listen to your man and show him he’s important for you!

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Adam was trying hard to fight back the tears because he felt an idiot but, at the same time, he didn’t know what he had to do. What Theo wanted from him looked such an impossible thing to do for him and he felt hopeless.

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“You can overcome this fear, Adam. And believe me, it’s not something difficult to do because Theo would be there next to you and help you with this. You deserve to enjoy life, Adam! You and Theo still have the chance to enjoy it better than Alex and I can do. Alex is constantly under the spotlight while you and Theo could still have a decent life,” Miles said in a kind tone, looking at Adam with a very caring expression. 

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“I don’t do it on purpose, Miles. This thing that when we’re not at home I do not feel at easy… I know I should try,” Adam said and he was almost surprised by the fact he was talking about his personal life with someone he barely knew. 

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“You should seriously try because what he wants it’s rather easy to do. He’s not asking for you to coming out to the world, kiss you on stage or declare your love during interviews. He wants to hold your hand when you are in a crowd and nobody pay attention to you or he wants you enjoy his hug when you watch a movie on the bus and your bandmates are around, things like that. I think you should begin to pay attention to what Theo needs instead of what people think.”

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“Thanks, Miles. I promise I am going to work on this because he deserves to be happy.”

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“No, Adam, you both deserve to be happy and believe me, looking at Theo happy will make you feel even more happy and you’re gonna curse yourself for the time you’ve wasted.”

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“Miles…” Adam said taking a pause to take a deep breath before speaking again.” Thank you for what you’ve done for Theo and for what you are doing now.”

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“There’s no need to thank me; I just wanna see you happy. And honestly, there’s something worse than Theo constantly talking…”

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“What?”

“I can’t see anymore Theo crying. It’s heartbreaking.”

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“Don’t take it wrong, Miles, but I didn’t expect you being such a tenderhearted guy,” Adam said finding the whole situation pretty surreal; the fact that Theo was living on a bus with two pretty famous rock star helping him saving his relationship was still hard to believe. “I imagined you very different; it’s a nice surprise to discover you’re not like I’ve imagined. I almost feel guilty for that.”

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“Please Adam, don’t tell me you fancy me too,” Miles said chuckling and Adam almost blushed. “I mean you and Theo are handsome and interesting men but I’ve already found my soul mate.” Miles said raisin his brows and flashing Adam one of his happy smiles that made him believe that everything would be okay. Adam was used to Theo’s constant optimism but Miles had the ability to make people believe that everything was possible, and he felt positive about convincing Theo to come back home.

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“Miles, can I ask you something?”

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“Of course.”

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“How is playing at the Pyramid stage?”

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“It’s difficult to explain and I have to thank Alex because I couldn’t do it without him. However, I hope I could do it by myself one day, only me and my band. And also you and Theo deserve it; I think we both have what it takes to play our songs on that stage.”

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“Yes, I am ready to work hard to get there! But I am gonna be scared as hell!”

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“I admit that it’s quite scaring the idea to face the stage but you and Theo have each other and anyway, after the first minutes of panic, you’ll end up basking into that memory for the rest of your life.

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They got off the car and they walked toward the bus. Miles noticed that Adam was a bit pale and silent so he stopped him and decided to cheer him up a bit.

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“Adam, look at me. Remember that he’s not eating and sleeping since days and he’s still a bit hungover. He is probably gonna play hard to get and honestly, you deserve it a bit but keep in mind he loves you and he wants that you do your best to bring him back home. Okay?”

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“O- Okay,” Adam stuttered visibly nervous.

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“O-Okay?” Miles asked with a frown, not considering his answer convincing enough.

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“Okay!” Adam exclaimed with a more convincing tone and Miles smiled at him.

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“That’s much better,” Miles chuckled, making Adam smile a little. “There’s a big chance that if you don’t bring Theo back home with you, he’ll come on tour with us. Can you imagine how much hair gel there would be in that tiny bathroom on the bus?” he said is a serious tone while having fun of Alex and Theo’s hairstyle that required tons of hair gel. Adam smiled properly at Miles’ joke and Miles hugged him giving a tight squeeze.

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“It’s gonna be hard but it’s gonna be okay."

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**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and get ready for the drama! Next chapter is called The Bus and the story comes to an end. 
> 
> Sorry for any mistake; I'll be back in few days ;-))


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Adam and Theo are forced to talk and spend time together into the bus. Alex and Miles wait impatiently to receive good news from them.

**THE BUS**

Miles opened the bus door for Adam and the guitarist stepped inside. Theo was at the second floor waiting for Alex to come back with some lyrics he wanted to show him, not knowing that Alex had gone and had no intention to return. When Theo heard the door open and then close, he was sure it was Alex and, consequently, he called his name. Adam didn’t replied because honestly, he felt a bit surprised – _why was he waiting for Alex in the bunk area? And why he didn’t sound like someone who is crying desperately?_ -

“Alex?” Theo called again a bit loudly now.

“I am not Alex, sorry” Adam replied and Theo frowned. He hurried down the stairs and stopped as soon as he saw Adam. – _What the hell is he doing here? Fuck he’s so beautiful! Why he is so beautiful!_ -  
They shared a questioningly look, both men frowning and looking pensive, their minds searching for an explanation for what was going on.

“What are you doing here?” Theo asked rather annoyed by Adam’s presence.

“Sorry, I thought you were pretty desperate and on a verge of being hospitalized and I kinda came to rescue you,” Adam said evidently pissed off by the situation.

“Me? Do I look desperate? I probably look annoyed because I was waiting for Alex, not for you,” Theo said feeling mean, deciding to let Adam think that there was something going on with Alex even if obviously it wasn’t true.

“No problem, I am gonna leave you alone,” Adam said holding up his hands in the air as to show he had no intention to discuss about the issue. He turned on his heels heading towards the door and it was then that they heard the lock closing.

“What the hell is happening?” Adam asked puzzled and Theo hurried toward the door.

“Alex?” Theo called loudly, trying his best not to sigh as soon as Adam’s scent filled his nostrils. All Theo wanted to do right now was hugging him, put his nose on the crook of his neck and being cuddled by his beautiful blue-eyed boyfriend but, unfortunately, he knew it was useless to daydream like that; it was just making him feel even worse and frustrated. 

“Adam loves you, Theo,” Miles shouted from the outside.

“Theo loves you, Adam” Alex added and then, they informed the two men inside the bus that they would be back sooner or later.

“Great!” Adam blurted out with an angry look on his face and Theo suddenly felt bad. It looked like Adam was really disgusted by the fact he had to stay with him in the bus and he found himself apologizing for the situation they had been thrown into.

“I am sorry, Adam; I didn’t know they had planned this stupid thing,” Theo said feeling guilty for what had happened.

“Well, this is what happens when you tell strangers your private stuff, Theo.”

“They are not strangers; they are friends. Sorry If I trust my friends.”

“Friends? You know them since three days!” Adam said with a hysterical laugh, looking at Theo as if he was completely crazy.

“It’s not about the time you know someone; it’s about how much they care for you! And they care for me and obviously they also care for us. Because maybe you don’t know but they spent the past three days with me, trying to make me feel better while I was hangover, trying to keep me away from troubles while I was drunk, making me eat and keeping me company and tell me that everything would be okay and fuck, Adam! Miles came to pick you up at home and brought you here because they think we should stay together…how can you dare to say they are not friends!”

Adam was standing there silent as he didn’t know what to say and what to do. What they were supposed to do in this bus? Talk and solve their problems? Theo didn’t look like he wanted to do it.

"But why I am here trying to explain these things to you, Adam. You can’t understand or better you don’t want to understand….you just want to live in your little world and I am still asking myself if you really want me into it,” Theo said in a very sad tone of voice, almost whispering the last words. Adam’s heart sank as he looked at those sad Bambi eyes looking at him full of sadness and disappointment but also love. A silence settled between the two men while they were standing into each other's eyes and Adam was happy to know that Theo was still caring for him.

“Okay, I got the answer,” Theo said as Adam was silent and he was about to walk away from the man in front of him when Adam spoke.

“You know I love you, Theo”

“No, I don’t know it anymore.”

“I do love you. Now and forever.”

“You love me only inside that fucking house, Adam. What I have to think?”

“Well, Theo, I am sorry I am not open minded enough to shag you in the shower of the dressing room after a gig or if I am not at easy enough giving you a blow job in the toilet when we are on the bus with our bandmates!” Adam said with a calm but frustrated tone of voice.

“And you think that this is what I want? I do not want this! Fuck Adam, you know me since fifteen years and you think that the problem is shagging with you while we are on tour? What the fuck are you saying?” Theo said kicking a chair next to him and giving his back to Adam as he run both his hands into his hair in despair. The guitarist was standing there unable to speak and an awkward silence settled between them again. Theo was even more sure that he had to give up on Adam because even if it was painful, he didn’t see a way out.

“I can’t go on like that, Adam. I’ve convinced myself that I was okay with your part-time love, I’ve told myself it was better than nothing but now I can’t go on and pretend it’s enough. I am not able to do it anymore. My face refuses to smile at you saying I am okay when you reject me. I am sorry that I am not so important for you to deserve an unconditional love from you.”  


Theo had said the last sentences in a very calm tone as if he had finally taken a big weigh off his chest and Adam shivered, feeling like it was the end of everything. 

“You are important for me, Theo. And I love you. I really love you, believe me! Adam said almost pleading, trying hard not to cry.

“No, Adam, you think it’s wrong to love me, this is why you behave like that. And at this point, I think it’s better we... it's better we..."

Adam was standing there thinking – _you cannot leave me, Theo. You are the love of my life, you can’t leave me_ \- and hoping that everything was just a bad nightmare but unfortunately it wasn’t.

“I promise you that nothing is gonna happen to the band because we’ll keep making music together but you and me…”

“Theo…”

“It’s better like that. It’s better we…”

Theo didn't manage to say the word, instead, he burst into tears. It was the first time that Adam was looking at Theo crying. He had seen Theo being moved and emotional and he had seen Theo wiping few tears away in a couple of circumstances but he had never seen the man crying like a baby. It was a desperate crying, the kind of crying that made him hard to breathe. Theo was sobbing audibly and tears were flowing relentlessly down his cheeks. Adam’s heart was aching like had never happened before and he approached Theo, eager to take him in his arms and tell him that he was there to put back together all the pieces of his broken heart. Adam was about to put his arms around Theo's trembling frame when the man pushed him away violently. 

"Don't touch me, Adam" Theo whined, retreating like if Adam's touch would have hurt him instead of making him feel better and Adam was shocked by Theo's reaction. In that moment, Adam understood how much it hurt feeling rejected by someone you love more than your own life and at the same time, he realized how badly he had ruined Theo.

Adam felt the world crumbling around him and he fell on his knees while Theo hurried to take the stairs up to the bunk area, running desperately away from him, as if he needed to put as much distance as possible from him. Adam wanted to follow him, beg on his knees to forgive him, promise him he’d behave and ask for another chance. He wanted to hold him in his arms, kissing his pain away and reassuring him they would be happy but he knew that Theo now needed some time alone and he had to wait patiently and not lose his mind. He had to be ready to face Theo when the moment was right. No way Theo could leave him; no way Theo could not love him anymore. He wanted everything with Theo, the success with the band and a life full of love to spend together.

Adam stayed on the floor and rested his back against the couch, listening to Theo alternating moments of silence and sobs. The guitarist knew it would take some time to the singer to calm down because he had repressed his feelings for so many years in the attempt to make things work, but Adam was confident about the fact that Theo was strong enough to get a grip on himself and take back his words. – _He still loves me; he had done it for so many years and he cannot stop to be in love with me all of a sudden! And I love him. I love him with all my heart and soul and there’s no other person on planet earth that deserves my love, my full and unconditional love_.- 

Adam felt blessed for having Theo in his life; he had done so much for him as a friend, as a bandmate as a lover, and it was time to let him know how grateful he was. But this time he had to be brave and prove him how much their relationship meant to him. Not that he had suddenly become another person, a sassy and a cheeky Adam Anderson, but he had finally understood how bad Theo was feeling because of him. He loved Theo and instead of making him feel loved he had done the opposite. His love for him had turned into pain every time he had refused to accept a simple gesture like an innocent kiss, a warm hug or holding hands. He had done everything to make Theo leave and he had succeeded because his boyfriend had left their home and now was ready to leave him. – _But I won’t let this happen_.-

At some point Adam noticed that Theo was silent since a while so he decided it was time to reach him; he silently stepped on the spiral staircase that leaded to the bunks and when he did it, he saw Theo laying down on the little bed near the floor. His features were relaxed now but his face still showed the signs of the tears he had cried in the past hour.

Adam sat down on the floor and put his head on the pillow close to Theo's one. He wanted to touch and kiss him so bad but he didn't want to awake him; Theo was tired and he looked peacefully asleep now and Adam knew that he deserved to rest a bit. Adam sat there waiting patiently for Theo to wake up and, at some point, he couldn't help but snap a picture of him. Theo was always damn beautiful and lovely but he was even more when he was sleeping, and while he looked at the picture, he hoped that he would have the chance to go to sleep and wake up with him by his side again.

Two hours later Adam was almost sure he would have convinced Theo to give him another chance because he had finally admitted to himself that he had behaved wrongly and that all Theo’s requests were not requests; two persons that were in love with each other would have behaved like Theo asked in front of their close friends or parents.

Theo moved on his back and Adam hoped he was about to wake up because he wanted to hug him, kiss him and tell him that everything would be okay. He waited a couple of minutes more and then, he decided to change his position because his back and butt were staring to hurt a bit now. He put himself on his knees with his elbows on the mattress and then, he outstretched his neck to reach Theo’s brow and placed a kiss on it. Theo slowly opened his eyes and looked at the smiling face above him.

“I am sorry, babe. Can you please forgive me?” Adam said quietly with a pleading look.

Theo frowned and closed his eyes. His head hurt for the previous crying and, honestly, he didn’t feel like talking to Adam yet but the image of Adam’s blue eyes looking at him _in that way_ , made his mouth open almost against his will.

“You know I am gonna end forgiving you, Adam. But our relationship it’s over.”

“You’re kidding, aren’t you?” Adam asked with a shaky voice, his eyes searching for Theo’s ones, trying desperately not to think at the fact that he wouldn’t be allowed to love him and being loved by him anymore.

“I am sorry, Adam,” Theo said turning on the opposite side, in the attempt to hide the pain and the misery that his eyes were showing. Adam felt his heart break into thousands of pieces and tears began to flood, blurring his vision. He didn’t surrender to the events that were going on thought; Adam knew that it would be hard to solve it but he was ready to fight. He wiped the tears away and his hand reached for Theo’s body, forcing the man to roll on his side and face him again.

“Theo, I do love you and I want you in my life. I know that my words are not enough and you are right. I know I still have to learn how to love you because it seems I am doing it in a wrong way. It’s pretty obvious at the moment that my love is making you feeling bad instead of happy and I am gonna learn how to love you if you want to be next to me and help me,” Adam said, fighting to keep a steady voice while talking. The two men were staring into each other’s eyes and seemed to have a silent conversation; Adam’s blue eyes pleading forgiveness and another chance, Theo’s brown ones trying desperately not to look at him and believe his words. Adam was not willing to lose Theo and therefore, he decided he needed to go on speaking.

“I am ready to face this stupid fear I have; because… why I have to be scared to being loved by such an amazing man like you are? Why I have to be afraid of showing how much you mean to me? I have behaved like an idiot and I need you to help me to behave like a proper boyfriend should do,” Adam said with a smile on his face while staring into Theo’s eyes.

Theo was surprised to hear the words and he was almost about to put his arms around Adam’s neck and pull him in for a kiss but his survival instinct stopped him from doing it.

“You can’t say this just to make me feel better, Adam. You can’t say this if you’re not sure you're gonna do it.”

“I am sure, Theo. I am sure I love you. I am sure that I want you feel loved even if when we’re outside the house but I need you to help me because it will be uncomfortable for me at the beginning; but if you promise me to be there, I know I can overcome everything,” Adam said without drawing breath, as he was afraid that Theo could interrupt him. Theo was looking at Adam pretty astonished and he felt his heart ready to jump out of his chest.

“Adam,” he said but he wasn’t able to say anything else because he was overwhelmed by emotions.

“So, Theo…can you forgive me right now? Can you give me another chance to show you I really love you?”

Theo smiled and he put his hands around Adam's shoulders, pulling him into a hug. They stayed there like that for what it seemed an eternity, whispering each other - _I love you_ \- and then Adam decided to ask Theo if he could move on the little bed next to him or if he still wanted to keep him on his knees for another hour just to punish him. Theo laughed and mocked him a bit but then, he scooted behind to leave some place to Adam. Theo settled into Adam’s arms and hugged him and Adam kept placing little kisses all over Theo’s temple and brow while his hand was caressing his back.

“I missed you so much,” the guitarist said and Theo raised his head to search for his beautiful blue eyes.

“I missed you too, Adam” and the guitarist didn’t know if it was the case to kiss him but his doubt disappeared as soon as he saw Theo approaching his face. 

The two men cuddled each other, talked nonsense, whispered tenders words and told jokes between kisses. After the very emotional moment they had shared, the tension had slowly disappeared; now their bodies and minds were completely relaxed and they felt both sleepy. They slowly closed their eyes, leaving their sentences half-finished and it didn’t take too much before they drifted into sleep.

They slowly woke up at the sound of Theo’s stomach rumbling as he had not eaten his breakfast and they decided to get up after they cuddled into each other’s arms a bit more.

The two men headed toward the little kitchen next to the relaxing area, hoping that Alex and Miles had planned their kidnapping in a professional way buying some food for them. They opened the fridge and yes, it was full of food as well as the little cupboard hanging upon it. Adam decided to pick some things to prepare sandwiches and a salad while Theo was already searching for something sweet to eat later. 

“We’re going to die for starvation if you keep wasting time kissing me,” Theo said chuckling. He was almost done preparing the salad while Adam had stopped preparing sandwiches because he had found more satisfying hugging Theo from behind and kissing his neck while busy finishing the salad.

“So do you wanna me to stop, Hutchcraft?”

“Is not that I want you to stop but I am really hungry,” Theo said as he finished his task and, with a smirk, got free of Adam’s hold.

“But I am hungry too,” Adam said with a mischievous look and Theo patted him on the shoulder.

“Anderson! Behave!” Theo said mischievously, feeling on seventh heaven.

“I can’t, baby. I missed you too much to be honest,” Adam said and then, he snatched the bowl away from Theo’s hand and placed it on the table, pushing gently Theo against the fridge and kissing him passionately.

“I love you, Theo. Thanks for trusting me; I am not going to disappoint you,” Adam said searching for Theo’s eyes.

“I know you worth my trust and I know that this time is gonna be different.”

 

They finally managed to have their late lunch and then, they decided to watch a movie while waiting for Alex and Miles to come and unlock the door. They had already sent a picture of them smiling happily into each other’s arms and they hoped that it was enough for the two silly puppets to come and open that fucking bus door.

While Adam searched for a movie to watch, Theo took the box of chocolate he had found in the cupboard and, settling himself between Adam’s legs, he opened it.

“Oh, fuck, Theo!” Adam said disheartened. He really loved chocolate and it was a torture not to eat it because of his strict diet but having Theo looking lustfully at a box of chocolate was too much to handle, and Adam knew that he would surrender in less than two minutes.

“It’s ages we do not eat a full box of chocolates together,“ Theo said as he took one and gave a bite, offering the other half to Adam.

“Theo…” Adam said whining but the singer didn’t let him to say a word and forced him to eat it.

“This is really good,” Theo said as he was deciding what to pick up next while Adam was tasting the chocolate trying his best not to moan too much.

“Theo, search for the paper so we can chose what to-”

“Shut up Adam,” Theo said as he placed the half of a square-shaped chocolate into the guitarist’s mouth.

“It’s not funny if we look at the paper! It’s better to taste them and discover what there’s inside,” Theo said, mocking Adam for his bad habit of searching on the paper the best chocolate to eat at the end. Adam was enjoying the salted caramel mixed to the chocolate and it was really hard not to sigh heavily. It was a couple of years now that he had stopped eating chocolate directly from a box with Theo and he had to admit that he had missed it a lot, even if Theo didn’t let him check the flavors.

“What’s next?” Adam asked and Theo smiled as he took a bite of a chocolate with a coffee bean on top before placing the other half into Adam’s demanding mouth.

“I really missed doing this, Adam” Theo said, as he enjoyed the taste of the coffee cream that was inside the new chocolate and Adam kissed him, letting him know beyond doubts, that he had missed these moments too.

“Next!” Adams yelled enthusiastically and Theo chose a triangle-shaped one with red stripes on it. It turned out to be filled with raspberry and Adam made a bad face because he hated chocolates filled with fruit. Theo laughed as he was looking at his disgusted face and Adam swallowed the chocolate immediately, asking for a better one to Theo.

“Okay, babe, I am sure that this is really good,” Theo said as he took one with some pieces of caramelized almonds on top and showed it to Adam. The guitarist opened his mouth immediately, eager to finally taste something good and Theo hurried to put the other half into his own mouth. They both found themselves moaning loudly because the chocolate and the filling were the best they had tasted from the box. Theo leaned against Adam to search for his lips and two second later, Adam was trapped under Theo’s body and they mere making out sweetly.

“Adam,” Theo whispered between kisses. “I want you.”

“I want you too,” Adam replied looking at him in straight the eyes.

“But I want you now,” Theo said and Adam had already noticed it.

“I guess we can easily solve the problem,” Adam said with a chuckle as Theo was not the only one who was having a hard on.

“So what are we supposed to do?” Theo asked as his finger traced Adam’s jawline.

“I am happy to surrender to you, love” Adam replied and Theo smiled before kissing him passionately.

“Maybe we should go upstairs, I don’t think we should do it on their couch,” Theo said and Adam nodded. He couldn’t hide the fact that he was feeling more excited than scared or worried as he walked up the stair holding Theo’s hand, and he took off Theo’s clothes rather impatiently. Even if Alex and Miles were famous rock stars and their bus was really a big and comfy one, their bunks were just a little more bigger than usual but this didn’t stop Adam and Theo from making love passionately, Adam giving himself to Theo completely.

Some time later, a happy and panting Theo collapsed on a happy and breathless Adam. The guitarist took Theo’s head in his hands and forced the singer to look at him.

“When I am with you is the best feeling ever, Theo. I want it is the same for you.”

“Then trust me, Adam.”

 

Alex and Miles decided to make a call before showing up to the bus. They had spent the whole day being optimist about the fact that Theo and Adam would solve their problem and they had been happy to receive a picture of them in less than five hours. They were absolutely sure that the picture wasn’t fake and for this reason, they decided that it was better to inform Adam and Theo about their arrival just to avoid any embarrassing situation like finding them half naked somewhere in the bus, not interested to know where the two men had had sex. Luckily, Adam and Theo were already dressed the moment they received a video call from Miles. Alex and Miles were happy to see that their plan had been successful and they couldn’t help but notice that their hair was a mess.

“Did you have sex?” Miles asked nonchalantly, trying to hide a mocking laugh. Alex elbowed him and Adam blushed a bit, earning a kiss on the cheek from Theo who found Adam absolutely adorable for the way he had reacted.

“Is that so evident?” Theo asked in an equal sassy manner as Miles.

“Well, besides the fact it’s written all over your face, you hair is a mess,” Miles explained and now they were all laughing.

“Okay guys, we’re glad to see you’re happy and in love and that you had enjoyed yourself but we’ll be there in fifteen minutes so, please, clean whatever mess you have made, thanks” Alex said obviously making fun of them, and Miles went on saying rather embarrassing jokes about what that bus had witnessed during the past two months.

 

Ten minutes later, as previously announced, the door was unlocked and Alex and Miles stepped inside the bus. Adam and Theo welcomed them with a big smile and thanked them with a hug. 

“I am so happy that you’re back together, guys. And I am happy that you do not hate us for what we’ve done,” Alex said feeling a bit guilty for the way they had acted even if for a good reason.

“It has been Alex’s idea kidnapping you,” Miles hurried to say, “but he has been worried all day long. Every attempt to calm him down and make him pay attention to me had failed miserably, and I am still waiting for a proper kiss,” Miles explained looking at Alex and pouting a bit.

Alex smiled and put his hand behind Miles’ neck to pull the man toward his face and then, his lips crashed on his boyfriend’s ones, kissing him rather passionately.

“Thanks, love” Miles said with satisfaction as soon as they parted; he then closed Alex into a tight hug and kissed him on the brow before going on speaking. “So, guys, we are very happy that the plan has been successful and the last advice we can give you is forget the tense moments I am sure you had today and enjoy the rest of your life together happily and in love.” 

“I have already cancelled the past six days from my mind; now I want to go back home with my love and start a new chapter of our life,” Theo said looking at Adam adoringly and the guitarist smiled at him. Theo put his arm around Adam’s waist and pulled him for a kiss. Adam let Theo kiss him on the lips in front of Alex and Miles and he remembered Theo's words - _trust me_ \- when Theo’s tongue demanded for entrance. He opened his lips and their tongues met, and he just enjoyed Theo's kiss not thinking about the fact that someone was probably staring at them.

When they parted, they stared into each other's eyes for a brief moment and then Theo smiled, feeling like he had everything he wanted, feeling like he had nothing more to ask. Adam smiled him back feeling proud for being the reason of that sincere and happy smile and Miles put and arm around Alex’s shoulder pulling him for a kiss, whispering in his ear that he was a genius.

“So, how are you gonna keep celebrating this special day?” Alex asked, resting his head on Miles' shoulder.

“I was thinking that maybe we can go out for dinner all together,” Adam said and Theo looked at him somewhat surprised. “It seems I need to learn a lot about how to behave properly among people and you can teach me a lot. It's a pity you're leaving in few days! it’s also a way to thank you for your help,” Adam went on and Alex and Miles were more than happy to accept.

 

After some more chatting, they went to the restaurant they have chosen all together. As the waiter arrived to accompany the four men at the table, Adam noticed how Miles had put his hand behind Alex’s back as he was walking a bit in front of him. It was a nice gesture to see, and Adam decided that he wanted to see on Theo’s face the same happy expression that there was on Alex’s ones every time Miles was next to him and made him feel loved. Adam didn’t think for a moment at the people around, he just focused on Theo who was just a step in front of him and he placed his hand on the singer’s back as he guided Theo toward his seat. The guitarist didn’t feel embarrassed or terrified for touching Theo while they were in a public place, instead, he felt happy and somehow proud. If someone was looking at them, probably was thinking he was a lucky man and that was true because Theo was an amazing man and he was in love with him. Theo had noticed Adam’s gesture and he was shamelessly happy when Adam also pulled back the chair to let him sit down. The four men had a great time and enjoyed the evening together eating, talking, laughing and when Theo reached for Adam’s hand to interlace their fingers under the table, Adam had no hesitation in taking Theo’s hand to do the same, resting it on his own leg. Adam gave it a squeeze and smiled to Theo, feeling a complete dork as he kept observing Alex and Miles in front of him. Miles had spent half of the dinner with his arm on the backrest of Alex’s chair, dragging Alex next to him for a hug from time to time; Alex’s hand had landed on Miles’ knees several times and his eyes had looked lovingly at him during the whole dinner. The two men had never stopped to show affection to each other without doing anything special. How had he been so stupid to refuse a kiss on the cheek or a hug from Theo? He should have been happy to show his parents, close friends and bandmates how much he loved Theo and he couldn’t believe how his insecurities prevented him to accept a gestures from Theo when they were with people who loved them.

“Are you okay, Adam?” Theo asked as they were alone at the table after Alex and Miles had gone out for a smoke. Theo looked a bit worried but Adam hurried to reassure him that everything was okay.

“I’ve never been better,” he said and gave Theo a smile and a wink. “Please, forgive me. Each passing second I am spending here with you and with them, I realize I have been a complete idiot,” he said almost chuckling and Theo nodded before he burst out laughing.

At midnight, they were out of the restaurant and they kept talking a bit more with Alex and Miles while they finished to smoke another cigarette. They greeted each other with the promise to keep in touch, Adam and Theo informing them that they would show up at the last gig of their tour in Paris and join them in the big celebration

.

As they were in a taxi heading home, Theo couldn’t remember being so happy during a night out. It had been a simple dinner in a normal restaurant but the way he had felt Adam close to him had been amazing. For the first time he was feeling that Adam was loving him unconditionally and he was sure that it hadn’t been an episode but it would become the normality.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed it! I wrote a little epilogue so come back to check in few days!  
> Thanks for reading <3


	9. Chapter 9

**EPILOGUE**

“I missed home,” Theo said as soon as he was inside their apartment; Adam hugged him from behind, resting his head on the singer's shoulder, smiling with satisfaction for the amazing feeling of being at home again together.

“I missed you so much, Theo. I hated being here alone, surrounded by silence,” Adam said, feeling miserable at the memory. "I couldn't sleep in our bed cause it was too painful opening my eyes and looking at the empty spot next to me so after the first night, I slept on the couch."

"I am sorry babe," Theo said and he immediately turned to face Adam so he could place little kisses all over his face.

"It was only my fault, Theo! _I_ made you run away from me and _I_ am the only one to blame if you left me here alone in that awkward silence. It was something really unbearable," Adam said almost feeling again the pain of those awful days.

“I can’t believe your words, Adam. You always complain about me being too much loud and noisy,” Theo said, looking absolutely surprised to hear that. He could easily believe Adam not sleeping in the bed because there was no one holding him in his arms like he used to do but Adam complaining about too much silence in the house was really hard to believe.

“I know it seems impossible that I'm saying something like that, but I suppose that I forgot how to appreciate silence since you moved here,” Adam said chuckling, earning a punch in the stomach from Theo for being rude. 

"To be honest, Bambi, I have to confess that silence is less interesting than you," Adam said with an apologizing look and Theo's pout was immediately replaced by a smile.

"I need you to write this down and sign it," Theo said mocking Adam and he was about to leave him to pick up a piece of paper and a pen when Adam stopped him.

"I won't write down anything, Theo. And I am already considering taking back my words."

"Okay you don't need to write it down, just tell it again so I am gonna take a video," Theo said picking the phone from his pocket.

"Theo, shut up. Or I am gonna put something into your mouth."

"This doesn't seem a bad idea at all," Theo said with a smirk and Adam rolled his eyes upward.

"Theo, better you shut up," Adam repeated, trying unsuccessfully to sound somehow menacing.

"Make me!" Theo answered defiantly, as he slowly stepped back toward the bedroom. When the back of his legs hit the bed, the singer let himself fall back on the mattress and Adam straddled him. Theo's hands went to Adam's buckle and then to the button and zipper of his pants; Adam lifted himself up a bit but he did it just to outstretch his hand, take the pillow and hit Theo right in the face, being careful not to hurt him.

"I hate you, Anderson. And anyway, it didn't work 'cause as you can see, I am still talking," Theo said chuckling and Adam caught the singer's wrists and pinned them on the mattress before lowering his head enough to meet his lips.

"Never stop talking to me, Theo. Your voice is so beautiful to hear," Adam whispered as his lips left Theo's ones for a brief moment before resuming the kiss.

“You still have to explain me how Miles dragged you out of this house; how the hell did he manage to convince you to listen to him and follow him?” Theo asked pretty curious as soon as their mouths parted to catch some air.

“Well, I have to confess that I have no explanation for that. I saw his face in the entry phone and I opened the door to him. I suspect he is some kind of hypnotizer,” Adam said not joking at all, as he had to admit that Miles had been able to make him do exactly what he wanted.

"Yes, Kane is pretty good to play with people's brain." 

“The way Miles behaved…he made me feel guilty, mad, sad, necessary, important and the way he was talking to me, reassuring me with that hypnotizing smile….Holy shit I am a bit scared of the power that Miles used on me,” Adam said still a bit puzzled while looking at Theo laying next to him.

“Yes, they are pretty a diabolic couple, Alex is the mastermind and Miles is the hypnotizer,” Theo said and they both burst into a belly laugh.

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“Are you tired?”

“It’s been such a surreal week and an even more surreal day and I can’t wait to slid under the sheets and cuddle until we drift into sleep,” Theo said staring into Adam's blue eyes.

“This is really a good idea.”

 

Theo finished to shower and a minute later, he was picking a fresh t-shirt and boxer-briefs to wear. Adam was standing with his arms crossed on his chest, leaning against the doorframe, enjoying the fact that Theo was finally at home again. He'd missed every little moment of their life together, even the most simple ones like looking at Theo getting dressed and ready to brush his teeth before going to sleep. Adam realized that he just didn’t miss his friend-bandmate-boyfriend; Adam had finally understood what Theo knew since a lot of time. They were not just a _couple_ ; they were a _family_ and Adam was happy and excited to start living this new chapter of their life with the acknowledge of Theo being his family. He had many lessons to learn from Theo, first of all, how to love someone and make him happy. Adam was aware of the fact that he had also lots of fears to overcome but he was ready to face everything to show Theo that he was the most important thing in the world every single moment of their life together. He also knew that it would take him some time before everything would go smooth and he could feel totally at easy among people but he was positive about that because he had already began to do it few hours before and he had not felt like everyone was pointing the finger at him judging. Adam would never forget, till his last day on earth, what it meant not feeling Theo’s love and feeling rejected by him. He had realized that nothing could make him feel fulfilled as Theo did; music had helped him trudging through life for lots of years when he was younger and had somehow saved his life too but now Adam knew that music wasn’t enough. Theo was the most important thing in his life and therefore, he worth every effort he had to do to make him happy and he had no intention to disappoint him anymore. He was still blaming himself for the fact that he had ruined their Glastonbury gig and Theo’s favorite festival but, at least, it hadn’t been a complete disaster. They had found on their path two amazing men, Alex and Miles, and a new, strong friendship had grown, beside the fact they had literally saved their relationship. The two men were so different from the way he and Theo had imagined and it's been amazing to discover how humble, tender-hearted and down to earth they were, despite the fact they were pretty famous rockstars. It’s been a pleasant surprise to see how deeply Miles and Alex loved each other and that had gave them the confidence they needed about the fact that they could live their life as they wanted. 

Theo hadn’t stop laughing for a full minute when Adam had told him how he was sure that Alex had showed up to their gig only because he was interested in Mr. Hutchcraft' ass instead of Hurts' music. Theo was almost in tears for the heavy laughing when Adam confessed him how he had spent days and nights cursing Alex and Miles for being two depraved because he was sure that both men were searching for a sexy, handsome man to revitalize their sexual life. 

A chuckle escaped Adam’s lips at the memory of what he had confessed to Theo few minutes ago and, suddenly, he remembered what Miles had told him when he had come to pick him up and so, he decided to have some fun with Theo who was about to put some toothpaste on his toothbrush.

“If you could choose between Alex and Miles…” Adam said not finishing the sentence, knowing that Theo would have understood what he was getting at with his question.

“What?”

“Alex or Miles?”

“Nope, I am not gonna play this game, Anderson! Whatever I answer, I am fucked up,” Theo answered before going on brushing his teeth. 

“Come on Bambi!”

Theo shook his head and rolled his eyes upward.

“At the beginning I thought you fancied Alex but then…”

“Then what?” Theo asked not able now to hide his curiousness.

“Is there something you want to tell me, Bambi?” Adam asked with a questioning look.

“No! What do you mean?” 

“I had an interesting conversation with Miles this morning, you know… Are you sure there’s nothing you have to tell me, Bambi?”

Theo rinsed his mouth, dried it and felt a bit embarrassed for the way Adam was looking at him.

“Well I've tried to kiss Miles but just because I was drunk and-”

“And?”

“I was really drunk, Adam! He has short hair, the beard and ...I was drunk, for God’s sake!”

“How can you thought I was Miles? I do not wear such leopard printed shirts, Theo! Even drunk you should have understood it,” Adam said, trying to be serious and avoiding laughing hard at his own words. As Theo knew Adam better than Adam knew himself, he needed few seconds to realize that the idiot was just making fun of him.

“Well, you are right. What happened it clearly means I fancy Kane,” Theo said provoking Adam, deciding to play his stupid, funny game.

“Well, then I think you deserve a lesson for such inappropriate thoughts,” Adam said as he approached Theo with a scolding but rather horny look.

“Uh, I am really scared now,” Theo replied running out of the bedroom.

“I think you deserve to be punished, Bambi,” Adam said, using a severe tone while approaching Theo with a mischievous look.

“You know what, Adam? This is something Miles would say and do and… I love it,” Theo replied with a smirk as he kept running away from him. 

“Theo be careful! I don’t call you Bambi without a reason,” Adam yelled, already envisioning Theo stumbling and falling ruinously on the floor. 

“I am not a Bambi,” Theo yelled and then Adam reached him in the living room.

“Yes, you are.”

“Okay I am a Bambi; a hot and sexy Bambi and no one can resist a Bambi like me.”

“I am sorry to remind you that Miles prefers a monkey to a Bambi,” Adam said, keep walking around the couch in the attempt to catch Theo.

“A monkey cannot melt his heart like a Bambi can do,” Theo replied, keep moving around the couch to avoid getting caught by Adam who was definitely more strong than he was. 

“I am sorry, Theo, but you and Miles couldn’t stay together because you both speak too much; he needs someone who listens to him,” Adam went on, as he jumped across the couch trying unsuccessfully to stop Theo walking around the damn piece of furniture.

“Uh, Miles Kane got a new fan…I would never said you could fancy him,” Theo mocked.

“Why not? I guess I fancy him despite his debatable fashion taste,” Adam replied as he kept going on with their little game.

“You're not his type, Adam.”

“Who says this? I am sure he gave more than one glance to my ass while he was checking my outfit,” Adam said with a smirk. 

“Nothing compared to what he did to me. I had a shower with him.”

“What?” Adam asked a bit worried, as he knew that Theo was not joking now.

“They told me I vomited on myself and Alex didn’t want to let me sleep inside the bus given how much I stunk so Miles put me in the shower and the morning after I woke up completely naked.”

“So you’ve been disgusting enough not to let Miles have any kind of inappropriate thoughts on you, Theo. This is why he snooped me more than once while I was getting dressed and now that you make me think about that moment, he caressed my back with the excuse to feel the fabric of my shirt,” Adam said approaching Theo slowly.

“He made me believe that I’ve convinced them to have a threesome after the shower and that I couldn’t remember it because I was drunk,” Theo said with satisfaction, raising his left eyebrow. 

“And you would have liked it?” Adam asked hesitantly, finally getting close to Theo who had stopped to run away from him as he realized that Adam was not joking anymore now.

“No, Adam. The only person I love, I need and I want is in this room,” Theo said with a sensual tone of voice, looking at Adam with almost heart shaped eyes. 

“And also outside this room from now on,” Adam hurried to underline before kissing Theo passionately. Theo responded the kiss and pushed Adam on the couch, his hands in the guitarist hair, and Adam’s hands on his butt. When they parted, several minutes later, Theo smiled his mesmerizing smile, the one that he reserved for special occasions, the one that reached his big brown Bambi eyes and made them smile and shine in an amazing way. Adam felt overwhelmed and he could feel how things were already changed, how Theo was happier than ever and how he, himself, felt happier than ever.

“I am sorry Theo. I am really sorry for what I put you through during these years. I am sorry for having ruined our Glastonbury moment, I am sorry for all the alcohol you drunk, I am sorry for the time we wasted becau-”

“Shut up Anderson! Stop apologizing and go on kissing me, you dumb ass! You have already done the first too much today and the second not enough!” Theo commanded authoritatively, and Adam was happy to obey.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks everyone for reading it! <3  
> Sorry for any mistakes, I'm trying my best to improve ;-))


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